Eye On Target
by CaelumBlue
Summary: Prince Iroh is sixteen years old. Fire Lady Ilah is determined to find her precious baby boy the PERFECT wife, even if she has to search the entire Fire Nation. Her parents (all four of them) are happy to help her, and also happy to annoy their son-in-law. Fire Lord Azulon just wants his life to go back to normal, and also his in-laws to stop flirting.
1. Chapter 1

**And here it is, folks - the Ilah Fic! I've been working on this one for like...three years? So one of my faster-written WIPs, lol. I started seriously working on it about a year ago, tho.**

**Thank you so much to Stingrae for being such a fantastic beta. 3**

**This story takes place about 48 years pre-series, right smack in the middle of the war. Iroh's a teenager, Ilah's still alive, Aang's still on ice. This one is more of my kinda-crack humor, like in Weather's Frightful, But Fire's Delightful. So no warnings needed here for anything more than some background Fire Nation supremacy! **

**Enjoy! **

* * *

Azulon knew something was up when he found his wife seated before a vast array of paperwork and portrait sketches, her expression set in an elegant, thoughtful frown as she perused each individual piece of paper. Also seated around the table were Ilah's ladies-in-waiting, Lo and Li, and her mother Rashmi, and her other mother Bhanupriya, each of them also carefully looking through the papers while sipping tea - or, in Rashmi's case, hot chocolate.

Azulon was no stranger to war. How could he be, when he'd inherited one? He'd been fighting battles and leading troops from a young age, he'd survived and succeeded in his fight for the throne despite his half-siblings' efforts, he'd driven the Water Tribe into hiding and conquered vast swaths of Earth Kingdom land, and he'd spent probably a good tenth of his life in war rooms surrounded by generals discussing strategy.

Right now, his instincts were screaming that whatever was going on here was no different. Ilah's study was a war room, her mothers and maids her generals. But what they were strategizing for, he had no idea.

"What's all this?" Azulon asked cautiously, hovering in the doorframe. He wasn't stepping onto this battlefield until he had intel on enemy, objective, and resources.

Ilah set aside one slip of paper in exchange for another. "Iroh needs a wife," she said mildly.

Alarm bells went off in Azulon's head. Oh, yes, he'd known this day would come, but still he wanted to protest - Iroh wasn't even seventeen, only just starting what was sure to be an impressive military career, there was no need to get distracted by a betrothal right now, they didn't need to worry about heirs, there was plenty of time, even Azulon and Ilah hadn't had Iroh until their thirties - and at _that_ last thought the words died away. Having Iroh so late was honestly one of the _stupidest_ things Azulon could admit he'd ever done. Letting the Fire Nation go for decades without a proper heir - no, that hadn't been a good idea at all. Oh, they'd had a backup plan should anything happen to Azulon, of course - but Cousin Ichirou had been less than thrilled when Iroh had finally been born after so many years. Azulon had had to deal with the joys of a newborn _and_ a civil war, just because he hadn't put in the effort to have an heir sooner. They couldn't afford a repeat of that. At the very least, right now, they should probably think of who Iroh would be creating heirs _with._

"I suppose you're right," he conceded.

"Of course I'm right," Ilah sniffed.

Rashmi snickered into her hot chocolate, and Bhanupriya's lips curved in a smug smile. Azulon ignored his mothers-in-law. "What're all these, then?" he asked, cautiously stepping into the room and gesturing at the papers scattered over the table.

"Profiles of young ladies I've deemed potential candidates," Ilah said. "Mostly noblewomen, of course, but also daughters of up-and-coming military and government officials - I thought it wouldn't be prudent to count them out when their family has proved their worth." The war was doing wonders for Fire Nation society's chances of upward mobility.

"That's a lot of candidates," Azulon said, approaching the table.

"I've been keeping our options open," Ilah said.

Azulon picked up one of the papers. "...This is a twelve-year-old."

"_Very_ open," Ilah said.

"Open to the point of inconvenience," Bhanupriya said, eyeing the paper in Azulon's hand. "Ilah, you _do_ realize we'd need to delay the wedding by a decade if we chose someone so young?"

Ilah bit her lip. "That _would_ be a shame...but...I want to cast a wide net…"

Azulon looked at the papers scattered over the table. And desk. And floor. "I think it's more than wide enough."

"I told you, darling," Rashmi hummed, "keep the ages in a small range - it'll spare you a headache."

"I know," Ilah said, still hesitant, "but - but what if the _perfect girl_ just _happens_ to be twelve at the moment - "

"If you keep thinking that way, you'll go mad," Bhanupriya said dryly. "Listen to your mother."

Ilah pursed her lips. "Alright," she conceded. "Lo, Li, weed out anyone under age sixteen - no, fifteen."

Lo and Li went rifling through the papers.

Azulon handed them the twelve-year-old's profile and picked up another one - this one belonging to the teenage daughter of the Minister of Defense. "Well," he said, looking down the list of her qualifications - family history, military involvement, education, political networks, wealthiness, horoscope, personality, looks - "I can at least rest easy knowing you're being thorough."

"Oh, of course," Ilah said. "Nothing but the best for my son. I've been keeping tabs on most of these girls since Iroh was born!"

Azulon reached the portion of the profile listing the girl's academic performance and winced. How on earth had she managed to stay enrolled in the Fire Nation Royal Academy for Girls? "Maybe not this one, then," he said, handing the paper to Ilah.

She took it reluctantly.

"What?" Azulon asked.

Ilah actually _pouted._ "But she's six-foot-three."

Azulon blinked at her before looking back at the paper. Sure enough, there was an entry on the girl's height. "What has that got to do with anything?"

Ilah crossed her arms. "I will _not_ have short grandchildren, Azulon."

He stared at her for a long, incomprehensible moment. "_...What?"_

"_Genetics,_ Azulon! Think about it. Sozin was short. By some miracle _you_ managed to come out decently tall, but I'm average, and our recessive genes combined still doomed Iroh to a life of being unable to reach the top shelf!"

"That's what servants are for," Azulon said.

"I want my grandchildren to be _at least_ average in height!" Ilah snapped.

Azulon hadn't been winning a decades-long war by charging into every single random fight he was presented with. He knew when to pick his battles. "Very well," he said. "So height will be a main attribute."

"_Yes,"_ Ilah said, snatching the girl's profile from his hands. She looked it over for a moment before sighing. "But...you're right, her academic performance is terrible. I don't want short grandchildren, but I don't want _stupid_ ones, either." She set the file aside.

Azulon looked at the plethora of papers still littering the table. "I'm sure you'll find plenty of suitable candidates," he said.

"Yes," Ilah agreed, a determined glint in her eye. "Only the best for my son. His wife will be _perfect_."

Azulon picked up another paper and looked down the list of qualifications. "Are you sure you'll be able to find someone who meets all your standards? Does someone that perfect even exist?"

"Well," Ilah said primly, "you found _me."_

o0O0o

The little peace Azulon's life still held was lost when it became public knowledge that Ilah was on the marital warpath. Azulon couldn't walk down a single hallway without being _casually bumped into_ by some noble or official or officer whose niece or daughter or sister whom Azulon had no recollection of but had apparently glanced at once was doing _very well_ in school or Firebending training or flower arranging lately. Azulon had taken to answering these not-propositions with noncommittal grunts and vague allusions to where he'd last seen Ilah. She wanted their son married, _she_ could deal with the inanity.

After a brisk walk down a long hallway followed by a persistent Chief Secretary to the Minister of Agriculture, Azulon graciously excused himself to the No Unauthorized Personnel Allowed, Fire Lord And His Generals Only war room, which was currently empty and had no meetings scheduled in the near future. Azulon collapsed into a chair, desperate for a few minutes of _peace._

"Long day, my lord?" someone asked, and Azulon looked up sharply. So help him, if one of his most trusted generals had seen fit to join in the matchmaking madness and come in here just to -

But no, it was General Kilohana on the other side of the table, and Azulon allowed himself to relax. "I am so grateful," he told her, "that you have no children."

General Kilohana smirked. "I have nieces."

"_Don't,"_ Azulon ordered, pointing an imperious finger.

"Ah, no need to worry, my lord, I was only teasing," she said. "Fire Lady Ilah has already regrettably informed me that the girls aren't as tall as she'd like them to be. Also, I'm not sure I would claim to have no children. I have _your_ son, after all." She walked around the table and handed him a neatly-bound booklet.

Azulon took the report with a smile and carefully unfolded the pages. "How did he do?"

"He successfully struck terror into the hearts of the Earth Army," General Kilohana said smugly. "I haven't seen them that anxious in years. They grew complacent when you retired from the battlefield."

"A mistake they'll soon regret," Azulon said, reading a section detailing his son's dealings with Earth Kingdom officers.

"Indeed," General Kilohana nodded. "Sozin's blood is leading the charge once more. They'll learn to submit or perish."

"I see he's just as good with strategy in practice as he is in theory," Azulon said, looking over Iroh's accomplishments.

"He had some stumbles, but overall he has a good head," General Kilohana said. "He listened to his advisors and officers and was quick to change the plan when he saw it wasn't working. His objective is more important to him than his pride, and he was more than willing to learn from his mistakes. And it's become very clear that he really is a budding tactical genius." She gave Azulon a sly look. "Give him a few years of experience, and you won't even need me sticking around to hold his hand anymore."

Azulon snorted. "As though Ilah would let you go more than ten feet from him. I'm sorry, General, but you're on babysitting duty until you retire."

General Kilohana laughed. "Oh, I don't mind. If nothing else I want to see the leader he becomes. And he certainly knows how to keep things interesting. You raised your son well, he's a good person to work with. Even if he _is_ his mother's son."

Azulon looked up from the report and smirked. "Tea?"

"So much tea," General Kilohana affirmed.

Azulon laughed and shook his head. "Ah, General," he said. "You know I'm forever grateful to you for keeping an eye on him."

"It's my pleasure and my duty," General Kilohana said. "I'd say it's no trouble at all, but...well, the boy _does_ have a penchant for getting into trouble. But I don't mind one bit."

"Thank you," Azulon said.

She gave a respectful bow and left him alone with the report. Azulon watched her go, contemplating. He'd known General Kilohana for years, and not a day went past that he wasn't grateful he'd taken notice of the sharp young lieutenant under Ilah's command. She'd advanced through her own merits, but Azulon and Ilah had been happy to help promote her along until she was ranked high enough to be part of their inner circle. General Kilohana was without a doubt one of his most competent officers - level-headed, loyal, and brilliant - but she was also a family friend, and Azulon knew he was blessed by the spirits to have her in his life.

Maybe he did regret that she had no daughters.

o0O0o

It wasn't long before Ilah's obsession with finding the perfect daughter-in-law seeped into all aspects of Azulon's day. Breakfast was ruined when, without warning, she suddenly threw her spoon against a column with an agonized wail. The spoon struck the column's center perfectly and shattered, and Azulon gaped as the porcelain shards hit the floor before turning back to his wife.

Ilah's head was in her hands and she was emitting a neverending groan. "_Hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnghhhhhhhhh - "_

Azulon stared at her for a moment before looking at Lo and Li, who, to their credit, were completely unfazed as they patted Ilah's shoulders.

" _\- nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnghhhhhhhh - "_

Azulon looked to the side of the room to see that the servants were already sweeping up the remnants of Ilah's spoon, paying no attention to their apparently-mad Fire Lady. One servant quickly and quietly slipped a new spoon onto Ilah's napkin.

" _\- nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggghhhhhh - "_

Azulon looked at the servant girl who'd been serving them juice. She was blinking at Ilah in consternation, clutching her pitcher, but when she felt Azulon's eyes on her she turned and looked at him. For a brief moment, they just stared at each other.

" _\- nnnnnnggggghhhhh - "_

Wordlessly, Azulon held up his juice cup. The servant obligingly topped him off, and Azulon gave her a merciful nod. She immediately bowed and backed away from the table with a grateful look.

" _\- nnnnnnggghhhhhhhh - "_

Azulon drained his juice while he waited for Ilah to finish.

" _\- nnnnnnnnnnggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."_

Her neverending groan of anguish finally came to a close, and Ilah inhaled, lowered her hands from her face, sat up primly, picked up the new spoon, and went back to eating breakfast.

Azulon stared at her for a full five seconds before asking, "Are you going to tell me what _that_ was about?"

Ilah immediately threw the new spoon against the same column. Azulon closed his eyes at the sound of shattering porcelain and resigned himself to yet another fit - but Ilah, thankfully, started talking instead. "I was just thinking of everything I want for Iroh's wife and I realized - Jyoti! And Grishma! They would be _perfect!"_

Azulon blinked.

"Think about it - we know they get along well with Iroh, they're his age, they're both highly born and very intelligent, Grishma is a skilled Firebender and Jyoti can pin a thrown apple to a tree at fifty paces, they're good girls and kind and beautiful and of a decent height and perfect candidates in every way - "

"Except for the fact that they are your biological cousins' children?" Azulon finished drolly.

"_Yes!"_ Ilah wailed, and immediately devolved back into another groaning fit.

Azulon stared at his wife a moment longer before getting to his feet. He walked past the servants who were cleaning up the mess of the second spoon, held his cup out to the juice girl for another refill, and made his way down the hallway towards nowhere in particular. Ilah clearly needed some time to get this out of her system...and he needed some time to pretend his life still had some semblance of sanity.

Iroh, he decided, as he finished his juice and left the cup on a garden railing for a servant to find later. He'd go find Iroh.

Despite taking a break from fighting at the front, Iroh showed no interest in slacking off during his leave. The boy - young man now, really - maintained a healthy balance between pleasure and preparation, and Azulon was as likely to find his son relaxing in the palace's hot springs as working out on the training grounds.

This morning it was the training grounds. Iroh was there with his grandfathers and several peacock-geese, running through the Open the Door form. It was the most basic form firebending had, but Iroh had a deep respect for the basics - a respect instilled in him by his grandfather Pransu, who'd won many a fight by sticking to the fundamentals of fighting and breaking flashier opponents' roots. Pransu himself was doing the form alongside Iroh, and grandfather and grandson were a flurry of hand strikes and kicks and short bursts of flame. Azulon gave them a wide berth, gave Pransu's prized peacock-geese a wider berth, and went to sit at the edge of the training circle beside his other father-in-law. Ajit had a tray of tea and snacks and a book and was completely ignoring both in favor of watching the Firebenders. One of the peacock-geese was taking advantage of his distraction to nibble at the cookies.

"I'm glad to see he's as disciplined as ever," Azulon said as he sat down, watching his son go from Single Arm Right Crescent Kick into Sparrow Flies Through the Eaves. Iroh's form was perfect as ever - not that Azulon had expected his son to go completely lax. It was hard to lose your technique when you were constantly fighting at the front. But if there was anything Azulon despised it was laziness, particularly among his own court. There was no room for lackadaisical nobles in Azulon's world, and he'd always impressed the importance of hard work and consistent training upon his son. Part of him had feared that Iroh might slack off upon his first foray away from the palace...but clearly that hadn't happened. "It's a relief he inherited my work ethic."

"He inherited _Ilah's_ work ethic," Ajit hummed. "And thank Agni for that. The boy knows when to _stop. Your_ work ethic is going to land you in an early urn."

"Bah," Azulon huffed. They'd see about _that._ Working was what kept Azulon _going_ \- he got antsy when he didn't have a project or a problem. Fortunately the war provided him with an endless to-do list. "I'm going to live to be a hundred just to spite you, Father."

"You were going to do that anyway to see the comet," Ajit laughed.

Azulon snorted but didn't deny it. It'd always irked him that he'd never truly gotten to experience the comet. The most amazing and sacred event per century, oftentimes a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence, and he'd been too busy being _born_ to enjoy it.

"You should get in there and join them," Ajit added, nodding at Iroh and Pransu.

"Perhaps," Azulon said, watching fire swirl from Iroh's tornado kick. "Though they're doing just fine on their own."

"Scared Pransu might beat you into the dust?"

"Pransu hasn't been able to beat me into the dust in decades."

"Only because he spent years beating you into the dust before that," Ajit smirked.

Azulon smirked back. Prodigy though he was, he'd also been an uppity brat in his youth. General Pransu had taken one look at haughty young Prince Azulon and decided it was his personal mission to teach him that experience and honed skill trumped raw power, preferably before the young idiot got taken out by an assassin. Thanks to Pransu's practical approach to teaching, Azulon had narrowly made it to age sixteen.

It never ceased to amuse him how much Pransu swore by sticking to the basics, however, given that in every other aspect of his life the man was, in Bhanupriya's words, extra as a tree full of hog-monkeys on cactus juice.

In the training circle, Iroh and Pransu finished the form and faced each other for a quick bow. Then Iroh jogged over to the sidelines with a grin, Pransu following at a more sedate pace with his dumb birds trailing after him. "Father!" Iroh grinned, even as he beelined for the tea. He nudged a peacock-goose away with a foot, and the bird gave a disgruntled squawk. Pransu plucked a cookie from the tray and tossed it across the training grounds - the peacock-geese all swarmed after it, shrieking. Iroh turned back to the tea. "Did you want to join me and Grandfather? We're doing Mounting the Ostrich-Horse next."

"That's not actually why I'm here," Azulon said.

Iroh's grin was cheeky. "Are you hiding from Mother?"

"Yes."

Iroh laughed. "Has she found my bride yet?"

"Unfortunately, no."

"Oh, that's alright," Iroh said, sipping his tea. "I'm in no rush, you know. Honestly, I'd be more excited if she found me a _dragon."_ He raised his eyebrows hopefully.

"Unfortunately there's very few of _those_ these days," Pransu said, wiping sweat from his brow. Wordlessly, Ajit handed him a towel, and proceeded to watch Pransu use it.

Iroh sighed. "Well maybe if my elders hadn't gone and killed them all without sparing any thought for future generations…"

"It's a little hard to think about future generations when you're trying not to get charbroiled by a giant lizard," Pransu said dryly.

"I'm just saying, Grandfather," Iroh said, pouring another cup of tea, "you killed two dragons, Father killed three. You should have saved some for the rest of us! How am I supposed to become a Dragon if there _are_ no more dragons?"

"Oh, there's still some left," Pransu said, waving the hand holding his towel. "No one ever caught that one that was terrorizing the northern islands last year." People had _tried,_ but their attempts to win themselves glory and honor had been incinerated. Literally. "You'll have your chance, Iroh, I'm sure of it."

"The way things are going," Ajit broke in, "I suspect finding you a dragon might be easier than finding you a wife."

Iroh laughed and looked to Azulon. "How _is_ Mother's search going?"

Azulon sighed and turned his eyes skyward. "Your mother is currently lamenting the fact that you are actually related, biologically, to your cousins, by blood, and that your shared genetics are the _only_ thing marring what would otherwise be a perfect union."

Iroh laughed harder.

"I'm glad you can find this funny," Azulon said.

Iroh wiped tears from his eyes and grinned. "I don't know, Father. I love Cousin Jyoti very much and dearly enjoy her company, and I will not disagree that she is a lovely lady, but unfortunately we disagree on the validity of herbal teas. I don't think it would work out."

"And your cousin Grishma?" Ajit asked.

"I can only take so much of her idea of humor."

"Perhaps you should tell your mother that," Azulon sighed. "To reassure her that it's alright that your cousins must be out of the running. She wants you to have the best wife she can find, and she's distressed that she has two girls who meet her standards who she cannot even give a chance."

"Ah, Ilah," Pransu sighed. He slung the towel over his shoulder and looked to Ajit, who was bluntly staring at him. "Where'd our little sunburst pick up that perfectionistic streak, anyway?"

Ajit raised his eyes from Pransu's chest to his face and said, just as bluntly as he'd been staring, "_You."_

"I'm not a perfectionist! I just have standards."

"Standards that you passed down to our daughter."

"You say that like it's a _bad_ thing."

"You told our daughter that she deserved everything she wanted if she worked for it, and then she decided she wanted a prince, worked for him, and eventually got his attention by _almost getting herself killed on a battlefield,"_ Ajit said blandly.

"You should really be thanking me for giving her good taste, then. Thank goodness she didn't inherit _yours."_

Ajit huffed. "_You're_ my taste!"

Pransu waggled his eyebrows, opened his mouth for a snappy and probably extremely dirty comeback given the opening Ajit had just provided him with, and Azulon said tiredly, with the tone of a man who'd had to deal with _all four_ of his in-laws flirting on a battlefield far too often, "If you two are going to start can you _please_ take it to a private room?"

"Maybe you should join me and your son to keep me sufficiently distracted, then," Pransu said, and he clapped his hands and pointed at the training circle. "Sitting Tiger Pose, let's go."

Iroh immediately skipped to the circle. "Come on, Father! Join us!"

"When was the last time you did Mount the Ostrich-Horse?" Pransu asked.

"Sunrise," Azulon huffed.

"Welp, time to go again. Come on! You could use the exercise. It'll help you relax."

"Indeed," Azulon said, already halfway out of his robes. A peacock-goose that'd been pecking the ground nearby took his movements as a threat display and hissed at him. Azulon threw his shirt over its head.

"We're going to the hot springs after this one," Ajit added. "You should join us. That'll help you relax, too."

Azulon began to protest that no, he had work that needed doing and reports that needed reading and decisions that needed making, and then he realized that if Ilah decided to seek him out for more wailing, a relaxing hot spring would be the absolute _last_ place she'd think to look. "Alright," he acquiesced, stripping off his undershirt, and he made his way to the training circle.

o0O0o

The next day, Azulon found himself dragged to lunch by Lo and Li.

"Explain to me _why_ I can't just take lunch in my office?" he snapped as they escorted him to the smallest of the formal dining rooms.

"Fire Lady Ilah requires your presence," they said from where they trailed behind him. Sure, it _looked_ like the standard three-steps-back of loyal and respectful servants, but Azulon knew they were just _shepherding_ him.

"What does Ilah need _me_ for?"

"Backup," said Lo. Or maybe it was Li. Azulon really couldn't be sure.

"Backup for _what?_ Oh, Agni, is this an interview? I told her I didn't want to be involved in the interviews! I don't even know what I'd ask the girl!"

"This isn't for a _girl,"_ Li - or Lo - said as they reached the dining room doors.

"_What?"_ Azulon blurted, and then Ilah was upon him.

"Azulon! Good, you're just in time! Thank you girls," she added, giving Lo and Li a dismissive handwave. She gave Azulon a once-over and frowned before reaching up to straighten his collar a bit.

"Ilah, what's going on?" Azulon demanded. He saw Rashmi and Bhanupriya already seated at the lunch table, going over some notes.

"Don't worry," she soothed, pushing him towards the table. "I just need you to sit and look foreboding. You don't even need to say anything if you don't want to! Actually, _don't_ say anything. Just let me handle it all. I just need you here for dramatic effect!"

"I told you I didn't want to be involved in the girls' interviews!" Azulon snapped as she pushed him into his seat.

"This isn't for one of the girls, Azulon," she hummed, sitting down beside him.

"Mother of Agni, are you interviewing _boys_ now too?" Azulon yelped, visions of how the insanity had just _doubled_ flashing before his eyes. Then his logical reasoning caught up with him. "Wait - Iroh doesn't _like_ boys! …Does he?" Spirits, maybe Iroh was taking after his grandparents and Azulon just hadn't noticed.

Ilah fixed him with an unimpressed look. "No, darling, your parenting skills are not _that_ bad. Iroh is not interested in boys. However, _I_ am _very_ interested in _this_ boy."

"_What?"_

"Hush. Send him in!" she called, and across the room Lo and Li bowed and opened the double doors.

There was a gangly teenager on the other side, well kept and decently groomed despite the few flyaways escaping from his topknot, and when he stepped into the dining room he moved with the assurance of a trained Firebender. His eyes glanced across the table as he came forward, from Rashmi and Bhanupriya to Azulon and Ilah, and Azulon thought he saw a flicker of confusion as the boy greeted them with a proper bow.

Ilah's red-painted lips curved into a smile, and the way her eyes narrowed in on the boy reminded Azulon far too much of the first dragon he'd killed. "Cadet Jeong Jeong," she said. "So good of you to join us for lunch."

"Thank you for having me, Fire Lord, Fire Lady," Cadet Jeong Jeong answered as he came out of his bow. After a moment's hesitation, he asked, "Forgive the question, but I was under the impression Prince Iroh would be here as well…?"

"Oh, Iroh's _very_ busy right now," Ilah beamed. "He's out with his grandfathers inspecting the troops before you all leave in a few days. Important stuff but dreadfully boring and time-consuming. I'm afraid he won't be able to join us. But that's alright!" she said, still smiling brightly as she clasped her hands together. "I was hoping I could get the chance to speak with you in private - more or less," she added, glancing from Azulon to her mothers and back to Cadet Jeong Jeong.

Cadet Jeong Jeong was looking a little pale, Azulon noticed.

"You see, Cadet Jeong Jeong," Ilah continued as Lo and Li began to close the ominously-creaking dining room doors, "I have _very_ many questions for you, and I was hoping you could help me with a certain project of mine. I understand that my son considers you to be his _best friend,_ and, well, I could use someone with your...expertise."

Azulon was pretty sure he saw real fear on the cadet's face as the dining room door closed with a resounding clang. For a moment he looked like a rabbit-squirrel that'd dropped into a den of wolf-bats - except of course the den was the dining room and the wolf-bats were Ilah's goals. A second later, though, the initial fear and panic was masked, and Cadet Jeong Jeong looked Ilah directly in the eye. Intelligent boy, Azulon thought. And brave, too, as he responded, "It would be my honor to assist you, Fire Lady Ilah."

She smiled and gestured at the empty chair. "Have a seat, Cadet."

What followed was one of the most interrogative lunches Azulon had ever witnessed - and his entire life revolved around _politics._

"Tell me, Cadet Jeong Jeong, is my son _interested_ in anybody?"

Azulon barely suppressed a wince as Ilah went straight for the kill.

"Oh spirits," Cadet Jeong Jeong said, knuckles whitening around his chopsticks. "Ah, I mean - well, my lady - " He glanced around the table. Rashmi and Bhanupriya didn't even look at him - Rashmi was engrossed with her food in that way that Azulon knew meant she was listening carefully to every word to discern any hidden meanings, and Azulon was certain Bhanupriya was scribbling down notes under the table. Cadet Jeong Jeong looked at Azulon, and the Fire Lord met his gaze impassively. He pitied the boy, but he knew better than to get in the way of his wife on a mission.

"Surely there's _someone_ you've noticed my son fancying while you've been out on campaign together!" Ilah insisted.

"Iroh's really not...uh…" Cadet Jeong Jeong trailed off uneasily. Not the most eloquent boy, Azulon supposed, but he _was_ trying to find the proper way to break whatever news he had to Ilah, which was at least intelligent.

"Isn't there any nice lady he likes? Talks about? Makes eyes after?" Ilah asked, leaning farther and farther over the table with every question.

Cadet Jeong Jeong stared at her, eyes wide and properly terrified, and Ilah held his gaze for a long moment before deflating.

"...Anything with a skirt, huh?" she asked, slumping back into her seat with a resigned sigh.

"Yes ma'am," Cadet Jeong Jeong said quickly, apparently grateful that _she'd_ said it for him. "No one in particular, just...uh..." He trailed off helplessly before stuffing a samosa in his mouth.

Ilah was small and sad and forlorn for another three seconds, and then her eyes hardened and she straightened up. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, MOTHER," she snapped, whirling in her seat to scowl at Rashmi.

"_My_ fault?!" Rashmi squawked, dropping her chopsticks.

"You've clearly passed down your obsession with pretty girls! How am I going to find my daughter-in-law if my son doesn't even have a _preference?"_

"What?" Rashmi asked, calmer now. "Am I supposed to apologize for giving my grandson the ability to appreciate all the lovely ladies this world has to offer?"

"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO APOLOGIZE FOR RUINING MY DREAMS OF FINDING MY SON THE PERFECT WIFE!"

"Darling, I'm sure whoever you end up deciding on _will_ be perfect - I mean, she'll _have_ to be, the fact that the Fire Lady approves of her will _make_ her perfect - and you know your son so well I'm sure Iroh will love her too."

"Oh yes I'm _sure_ he will! Since apparently he loves _all_ of them!"

"Since he obviously has little in the way of preferences," Bhanupriya spoke up, "he'll probably be grateful to you for deciding for him. I wouldn't worry so much."

Cadet Jeong Jeong was using Ilah's distraction to actually _eat._ Azulon applauded his efficient use of time. A lesser man might have merely gaped at the Fire Lady having a fit at her mothers. Granted, Cadet Jeong Jeong was still doing that surreptitiously, just...with food in his mouth.

"But if Iroh doesn't _have_ any preferences because he likes _all_ the girls then how am I to know I've found him one he'll truly love and appreciate and not end up hating after a few years - "

"Ilah dear, Iroh is so very much like you that anyone _you_ like enough to invite her to be part of the family, _he's_ bound to like as well!" Rashmi said. "And he'll _have_ to settle down eventually, darling. After all," she added, daintily taking Bhanupriya's hand in hers and lifting it to her lips for an elegant kiss, "_I_ did."

"You're incorrigible, Rashmi," Bhanupriya said, smiling slightly.

"Ah, but I believe I have proven myself _quite_ corrigible, my love," Rashmi said, kissing a little farther up Bhanupriya's arm.

Azulon's eye twitched. He'd spent hours in a hot spring with his shirtless fathers-in-law yesterday. He _did not_ need to see more of his in-laws' flirting. A glance at Cadet Jeong Jeong showed that he was also studiously ignoring the Royal Mothers-in-Law. Cadet Jeong Jeong met Azulon's eyes, and for a very brief moment they shared a commiserating look of _yes, we really are locked in a room with these lunatics, but at least there's food_ before having another mouthful of lunch. Azulon was fairly sure the cadet had the better end of the deal - he didn't have to _live_ with them, after all.

Ilah sighed and turned her gaze back on Cadet Jeong Jeong, who nearly choked when he realized her attention was on him again. "Very well, Cadet," she said, her voice as brisk as a drill sergeant giving orders. "Since my son seems to have no preferences _as of right now,_ I expect you to be _thorough_ when you report back to me on the subject."

"_Report?"_ Cadet Jeong Jeong squeaked.

"Yes," Ilah said, a gleam in her eye. "I'm giving you a mission. You are to keep a close eye on Iroh and alert me to any observations you may make regarding his romantic inclinations. If he starts favoring one girl over the others, let me know. If you notice that he has a type, let me know. If you think you have any information that might be the slightest bit useful in finding him a wife - _let me know."_

Cadet Jeong Jeong stared at her. "Ah," he said, "I mean no offense, my lady, but you do realize that I am in the Navy, while Iroh is in the Army, so once he starts heading inland I am really not going to be able to stay with him - "

"Cadet," Ilah said, tone turning from imperious to imploring, "please. My son - your _crown prince_ \- counts you as one of his best friends. I would hope that means you want what's _best_ for him, because what is best for Iroh is what is best for our _nation._ And as it stands, you are one of the few people who can _possibly_ keep me informed on this situation. Can I trust you to carry out this task faithfully?"

Ilah's shift in demeanor did the trick. Cadet Jeong Jeong straightened a bit, rising to the occasion despite the fact that he was obviously still terrified of his Fire Lady. With a fervent nod, he assured her, "Of course I want what's best for Iroh. It will be my honor to assist you, Fire Lady."

"I'm glad to hear it," Ilah said, her smile satisfied as she withdrew something from her sleeve. "You have my permission to send all your reports to me _directly."_ She extended her hand across the table, a small black obsidian token carved in the shape of a coiled dragon resting in her palm. "I'm giving you black ribbon clearance. Use it for all your messages."

"_Ilah!"_ Azulon burst out, unable to help himself. Black ribbons were meant for messages of the utmost urgency _only_ \- and the fact that Ilah was handing out one of _her own personal tokens of authority -_

Jeong Jeong gingerly took the obsidian dragon from Ilah's hand, nearly dropping it into his curry in his shock.

"It's _important_ Azulon!" Ilah snapped. Azulon wisely shoved a samosa in his mouth and said no more.

o0O0o

Iroh was only home for a short period of time - he was eager to return to the front, and Azulon was eager to send him, to remind the Earth Kingdom who they were dealing with. His son's few accomplishments thus far were admirable, and Azulon saw no point in holding the boy back when there was so much more to be done.

Still, he was going to miss Iroh. The palace seemed so empty without him.

"It won't feel as empty once we have _grandchildren,"_ Ilah said when Azulon mentioned it, and then she and her mothers went right back to plotting how they'd be conducting interviews.

Azulon...paused a moment, considering that. He'd never really _thought_ about grandchildren, in the same way he'd never really thought about children. He'd assumed they'd happen at some point of course, noble descendents raised to continue leading the Fire Nation's greatness, but he tended to forget that they didn't just happen on their own, that it took _effort_ to bring them about. Ilah had had to drag him off the battlefields and into her bedsheets, ranting all the while about how stupid he was for taking so long to produce an heir.

"It's a good thing your mother's taking the lead on this mess," Azulon told his son while they sat in the garden. It was a few evenings before Iroh was scheduled to depart for the Earth Kingdom again, and they were enjoying a peaceful cup of tea together that Iroh had made himself. The sun was an orange-purple blur on the horizon, but the lanterns strung through the trees had been lit, and the fireflies flitted about. There was a peacock-goose perched upon the garden wall, beautifully framed against the setting sun. "Agni knows if it was left up to me, I'd completely forget about it until my deathbed."

Iroh laughed. "You _do_ have a one-track mind, Father," he said. "How old were you when I was born, again?"

"Older than _you'll_ be when you have your firstborn," Azulon huffed.

"Ah, I don't know," Iroh chuckled as he poured the tea. "I've seen Mother's pile of candidates. It might take her forever to find her dream daughter-in-law."

Azulon accepted his cup with a sigh. "She's determined to have a fiance for you by the time you return home," Azulon said.

"Yes, I surmised as much."

Azulon gave his son a long look. "You wouldn't happen to have any preferences or suggestions yourself, would you? Anyone who's caught your eye? Someone you've worked with, perhaps." Azulon and Ilah's love had blossomed on the battlefield. Their intimate understanding of each other had come from years of camaraderie, their teamwork had been born out of multiple life-or-death situations where they'd only had each other to rely on. Iroh was young yet, but Azulon had been young when he'd first met Ilah, and if there was anyone in their son's life with whom he might share such experience…

But Iroh only smiled and shook his head. "No. I'm sorry, Father. There are so many lovely ladies, how could I choose only one?" he laughed.

Azulon sighed. "Then your mother will be choosing for you."

From somewhere inside, there came a screech of "I DON'T CARE IF SHE'S AN EXPERT TSUNGI HORNIST, MOTHER! SHE IS FIVE-FOOT-THREE AND THAT'S FINAL!" On the garden wall, the peacock-goose decided that was its cue to start screeching as well, and to Azulon's great annoyance the rest of the peacock-geese all over the palace grounds also took up the chorus.

Iroh grinned as the cacophony rang around them. "I trust her judgement completely."

* * *

**First chapter down, three to go! My work schedule for the next two weeks is kinda rough, so I'm not sure when chapter 2 will be up yet, but I'll try to post it in a week or so. In the meantime, kudos and comments are always appreciated! You can follow me on tumblr at caelum-in-the-avatarverse if you wanna see me occassionally mutter about my fics. **

**Time for notes!**

**First and foremost, there's no homophobia in my Avatarverse headcanon, and I regard the comics as "friendly suggestions" rather than actual canon that I have to follow. So yes, my Ilah has four parents and they're all pretty queer. Rashmi and Ajit are her biological parents, they had an arranged marriage and a child for political purposes, and their actual lovers Bhanupriya and Pransu are Ilah's other parents. Ilah's intense personality is a direct result of having four parents who doted on her and raised her to be a badass. **

**I tried to make sure that you can see Iroh in all the grandparents, so here's a list of things he inherited from each of them - Ajit's chill attitude, Pransu's firebending skills, Rashmi's love of beautiful ladies, and Bhanupriya's strategic thinking. Also, you know Azula's smile? That slightly evil smirk of hers? She got that from Ilah, who got it from Bhanupriya.**

**The exercise Iroh and Pransu are going through is the Open the Door form from Northern Shaolin kung fu. You can check the full form out here: shaolin -1-hoi-mon/**

**"extra as a tree full of hog-monkeys on cactus juice" is 100% a nod to the line "gay as a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide" in Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman's ****_Good Omens._**

**There's a lovely illustration of Ajit and Pransu that I commissioned from Raff, which of course I can't put on ffdotnet, so go to my tumblr or this fic on Ao3 if you wanna see that.**

**Raff is also a major Jeong Jeong fan and thanks to him I now headcanon Jeong Jeong as gay. (Go check out his fantastic comic, Introspections of a Deserter! Or his art blog at raff-s-art-blog) Please take a moment to pity poor young Jeong Jeong, who is being dragged kicking and screaming into this mess. "I JUST WORK IN THE NAVY! WITH SHIPS! WHAT DO SHIPS HAVE TO DO WITH ROMANCE?" oh you poor sweet summer child if only you knew.**

**You might recognize General Kilohana from ****_Weather's Frightful, But Fire's Delightful_**** \- she really has been babysitting Iroh for his entire military career. You might also recognize Pransu from ****_blow us all away_****, though he has a lot more personality here, lol.**

**I think a peacock-goose is the most terrifying animal hybrid I've ever come up with. The goose part is probably Canadian.**

**Worldbuilding! Allusions to political things! We'll expand on those later. I have lots of ideas on how the Fire Nation's political scene changed throughout the war.**

**Name notes! I went with Indian inspiration's for Ilah's family.**  
**Ajit - Sanskrit - unconquered, invincible**  
**Pransu - Hindi? - high, tall**  
**Rashmi - Sanskrit - sunlight**  
**Bhanupriya - Hindi - beloved of sunlight (lol I'm hilarious)**

**Ilah's family are all of the Yu Yan Clan, because I decided the Yu Yan Archers are their own people. Ajit, Rashmi, and Ilah all have the face tattoos. Pransu's a firebender so he's never bothered with the archery aspect of his clan, and Bhanupriya's main strength is her mind so she's not as much of a physical fighter.**

**Thank you for reading! See you sometime next week!**


	2. Chapter 2

***handwave* Hey hey, I forgot I hadn't updated this fic here yet, whoops. FFdotnet is just...so user-unfriendly compared to AO3, so I kept putting it off, and then I forgot entirely. My bad.**

**Chapter 2! In which Ilah actually conducts interviews and Azulon wonders why this is his life now. Also random backstory/worldbuilding.**

**Thanks as always to Stingrae for helping me juggle all my headcanons and worldbuilding ideas!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Ilah spent her days after Iroh's departure ruthlessly interviewing an endless list of girls and their parents. Her battleground was the palace gardens, her officers were her mothers and ladies-in-waiting, her weapons of choice tea and pastries. Family after family passed through the palace gates - noble houses and heads of state, island leaders and clan chiefs, ministry officials and military officers - all of them grateful for the Fire Lady's hospitality, and hopeful that their daughter might become royalty. Ilah plied them with food and drink as she delved into the daughter's personality and the parents' background.

It was a competitive process, to be sure. There was nothing _average _in the girls Ilah had chosen as worthy of interviews. Each young lady was an exceptional Fire Nation citizen, every last one a unique individual with a personal set of skills and strengths that were not to be scoffed at. Some were well on their way to mastering firebending, some were scholastic prodigies, others were clearly showing signs of innate leadership abilities, and still more had any number of admirable talents. All came from at least decently good breeding. None were under five-foot-eight.

Not a single one was good enough for Ilah.

"I can't believe this!" she wailed one evening, practically throwing her hairpins on the vanity. "Why is this so _hard _?"

"Because you are _making _it so, my dear," Azulon sighed as he disrobed.

"I just need to have a perfect daughter-in-law," Ilah said. "Is that too much to ask?"

"You're looking for someone who doesn't exist," said Azulon. "No battle ever has the exact outcome you want - you can only hope to get something approximating perfection."

"Are you asking me to _lower my standards?!" _

Azulon decided to remain silent, despite how excruciatingly high Ilah's standards certainly were. It amused him that she found none of the girls worthy - he had come to the exact opposite conclusion. It was gratifying to know there were so many talented young ladies amongst his subjects. The next generation was looking bright. Though the girls hadn't made the cut, they'd certainly be valuable assets in this endless war of theirs. Azulon had already dispatched orders that a number of the girls be invited to various government or military jobs.

"I'll find her, Azulon," Ilah vowed. "Mark my words, I'll find the _perfect _wife for our Iroh, even if it's the last thing I do!"

"What was wrong with today's girl?" Azulon asked. He couldn't quite remember her name - only that she was from a minor noble family, had scored top grades at the Academy, and was already proving herself to have a good head for numbers and taking the lead. Azulon had already decided he needed to bring her to the Minister of Finance's attention.

"She was too intense," Ilah said dismissively, untangling the last of her hair. "Poor thing had no idea how to relax - she and Iroh would never have gotten along well. And she liked _coffee _."

"I like coffee."

"Not at the expense of tea! Did you _see _her face when I offered her a cup of pu'er? _Pu'er _, Azulon! You can only get it from the Earth Kingdom!"

Azulon knew full well that you could only get pu'er tea from the Earth Kingdom. Or what used to be Earth Kingdom - the region of Pu'er was a Fire Nation colony now. Azulon had conquered it for Ilah as a wedding present. He was very extremely knowledgeable about pu'er.

"I'm not saddling my son with a wife who turns her nose up at pu'er in favor of coffee!"

"Fair enough," Azulon sighed. Truth be told he couldn't do that to Iroh, either. It might break the poor boy's heart.

* * *

Rashmi and Bhanupriya were ostensibly the grandparents involved with the interviews, but Ajit and Pransu managed to install themselves as a spying peanut gallery. Azulon's office happened to overlook the garden Ilah conducted her interrogations in, and more often than not they'd hole up by the window as long-distance support. Spyglasses in hand, they'd watch their daughter work while simultaneously impeding their son-in-law from getting any work done whatsoever.

Azulon would find himself staring blankly at whatever report he was trying to read, listening to their heckling. Pransu's commentary proved to be most enlightening.

_"That _obi with _that _kimono? Good lord child you'd better be colorblind because that is the _only _excuse."

"Whoop, she went for the coffee - instant disqualification."

"It's not that I think she's inbred, it's just that I think her family needs to have a good long look at their tree."

"And it seems the peacock-geese don't like her. I'm not sure what that means but it can't be good."

_"That _sari with _that _blouse? What was she _thinking?" _

"Judging from her clumsily clueless attempts at conversation, I'd imagine she wasn't thinking at all," Bhanupriya said, having a sip of tea while she looked over her notes. Ajit had gone down to the garden after this latest interview to help Rashmi console Ilah, who was growing more desperate by the day. Bhanupriya had come up to Azulon's office to vent with Pransu.

"And here I was hoping she'd have a _sparkling personality _to make up for her _complete lack of fashion sense," _Pransu huffed, pacing circles around Azulon's desk.

"Oh, it sparkled alright," Bhanupriya drawled. "Like a quartz drinking glass."

"So pretty and empty and completely worthless?"

"Mm-hm," Bhanupriya said, taking another sip of tea.

Azulon had long given up on getting through the latest trade reports and resigned himself to listening to Pransu and Bhanupriya verbally eviscerate the day's girl. "Mother of Agni, were you four this harsh when _I _was courting Ilah?"

They both paused, Pransu freezing mid-step and Bhanupriya looking up from her notes. They stared at Azulon for a moment, took another moment to exchange looks with each other, and then turned back to him with pitying expressions.

"Oh, Azulon, honey," Pransu said.

_"What is that supposed to mean?" _

"You _didn't _court Ilah," Bhanupriya elaborated. "Ilah courted _you." _

"And you do _not _want to know the things we had to say about you," Pransu said, waving his hands and rolling his eyes.

"Excuse me?"

"Trust me, it wasn't pretty."

"I was your _prince! _What could you _possibly _have had to say about me?!"

"Oh, I don't know - how about the fact that our daughter was _literally throwing _herself at you and you didn't even notice?"

_"She did that to protect me from an assassin!" _

"Alright yes but there were also all those times she did nice things like invite you to tea and give you chocolate and gold and that time she _scattered rose petals all over your tent, I still cannot believe you did not get the hint - " _

"In my defense, I was a little preoccupied with conquering the Earth Kingdom and securing my place as my father's heir!"

"Which Ilah was always happy to help you with. You know she pledged her undying loyalty to you in the most flirtatious way imaginable, right? Not to mention that time she literally presented you with the heart of that particularly pesky Earth Kingdom captain in the Hu Xin campaign…"

"My idea," Bhanupriya hummed. "She was getting fed up that you weren't noticing her more conventional attempts at courtship. Pransu was slamming his head into a tree complaining that you were the least romantic idiot he'd ever met. So Ilah asked me for tips on how to flirt."

"Your idea of flirting is terrifying," Azulon told her.

"Ha. You think that's bad, you should talk to Rashmi."

"How was I supposed to know that was _flirting, _anyway? I thought she was being an exemplary officer!"

"She handed it over to you and said something about how she would rip out her own and give it to you if she could," Pransu said dryly.

"I thought she was just being appropriately patriotic!"

"Azulon, honey," Pransu said, pinching the bridge of his nose, "you are _hopeless. _Thank Agni Iroh doesn't take after you."

* * *

Of course Iroh wasn't overly clueless when it came to romance - he was, unfortunately, the _exact opposite. _Cadet Jeong Jeong's reports were frequent and detailed, and unfortunately those frequent details made it clear that Iroh was a romantic soul who considered beauty to be more than skin-deep and had a deep appreciation and respect for every girl he came across.

"This is _so _inconvenient!" Ilah wailed, crumpling Jeong Jeong's latest report in her hands. She threw it to the floor for Lo or Li to pick up, smooth out, and file away for later reference.

"Oh no," Rashmi sighed from where she was mixing hot chocolate at Ilah's desk, "you raised your son to love and respect all women and not be a shallow fool. The horror."

"I'm still blaming you for his predilections, Mother!"

"Ilah, please," Azulon tried. "Haven't we pointed out numerous times that if Iroh doesn't have any preferences that just makes your job _easier?" _

"Azulon could you perhaps _try _to be sentimental about this?" Ilah snapped. "He's our _son! _I need to at least _try _to find out what he likes so I can plan accordingly!"

"Hush, darling," Ajit said, patting Ilah's shoulder. She sniffled, and he handed her a cup of freshly-brewed tea. "Azulon is right. Iroh is not like you, Ilah, at least not in this. You knew who you wanted and you went after him without hesitation. Iroh has no such feelings like that towards anyone in particular - and that's _fine. _Don't worry about figuring out Iroh's preferences to find his wife. Just worry about finding someone you know he'll like."

Ilah sipped her tea with another sniffle. "I just wish he'd help me help him," she said.

Ajit smiled at her encouragingly. "I know. But you know your son, my dear. Whoever you find will be perfect."

Ilah nodded slowly and had some more tea, her eyes distant as she contemplated her father's advice. It was times like these that Azulon was grateful for the calm, supportive presence Ajit was in an otherwise insane family.

"Alright," Ilah said at length. "Alright, we...we'll stop worrying so much about Iroh, but we _will _continue to monitor the situation. Lo, Li, pen a missive to Cadet Jeong Jeong. Thank him for his work so far and tell him to alert me if anything changes. In the meantime…" Her eyes glinted. "We have a lot more interviews to do."

* * *

It wasn't long before the list of rejected candidates became a legend in its own right. There were whispers in the Fire court of how impossible the Fire Lady was to please, and the parents of prospective girls did their absolute best to prepare their daughters to meet Ilah's demands. It was always for naught - Ilah dismissed every girl she met for one reason or another.

Azulon found that he didn't mind, because the interview process was actually proving useful in cleaning up his court. He was always delighted to find another gifted young lady who'd be a major asset in some governmental or military position, of course...but then there were the girls whose interviews made it clear that their families would have to be dealt with.

Like the day Ilah interviewed the granddaughter of some island lord, and Azulon found his mothers-in-law out on the archery range afterwards. Bhanupriya was scribbling over her notes. Rashmi was shooting arrow after arrow and splitting them successionally, her aim so impeccable that the peacock-goose perched on top of the target was hardly bothered. Azulon watched her for a long moment before speaking. "Dare I ask how today's interview went?"

"Well," Bhanupriya drawled, "the girl herself was alright. Pretty, somewhat tall, skilled Firebender, seems to have good opinions when she's allowed to share them, likes ginseng."

"Why do I have the feeling there's a catch?"

Rashmi split a final arrow and whirled to face him with a scowl. "The girl's _mother _is the catch. Ilah has interviewed _how many _young ladies thus far? And everyone knows no one has met her standards? Yet this woman strides into the palace as though the marriage contract's already been signed!"

_"What?" _Azulon spluttered.

"Oh my Agni, you saw that?" That was Pransu's voice. Azulon turned to find his fathers-in-law were making their way towards them. Ajit had his archery gear. Pransu had a steaming cup of coffee.

"Little hard to _miss!" _Rashmi snapped, whirling around and firing off another arrow into the target's center. It hit hard, punching straight through the over-punctured target, and caused the peacock-goose to squawk as its perch jostled.

_"Yes. _Did you _see _the way she was looking at the place?"

"Like she owned it?" Bhanupriya huffed.

"Lady was measuring the rooms with her eyes!" Pransu proclaimed, and he had a judgemental sip of coffee.

"Not to mention the fact that she barely allowed her daughter to speak at all," Bhanupriya said. "Every time the poor girl opened her mouth her mother interrupted her. I'm not sure if it was on purpose or if the woman can't bear the idea of her own daughter outshining her, but either way this was _her daughter's _interview, and I had to explicitly state that I wanted to hear what her daughter had to say _multiple times." _

"Well that's disheartening," Ajit sighed, coming to Rashmi's side and holding his bow at the ready. He paused and blinked at the targets Rashmi had already obliterated. "Goodness, are you alright?"

"I am _very _displeased," Rashmi said firmly. "What a presumptuous, self-absorbed little - "

"We're going to make her rejection as quick and pointed as possible," Bhanupriya said. "You don't get to assume you're going to be a royal in-law just because you were invited to an interview. And we are _not _saddling Iroh with _that _for a mother-in-law."

"Of course we're not!" Pransu exclaimed. "Our grandson has all the options in the Fire Nation, and he deserves _way _better than that! Did this lady even _notice _all the girls Ilah's rejected? Because a lot of those girls are amazing. You don't get to walk in here like you own the place and then assume your mediocre daughter is gonna be the next Fire Lady because you got invited to tea!"

"The more you three talk about this woman, the more I'm glad I slept in this morning," Ajit muttered, stringing his bow.

"Who is this woman?" Azulon asked, because even though every evening Ilah took it upon herself to make him _highly informed _about the next day's interview, he could never be bothered to remember the information. "What clan is she from?"

"Takahashi," Bhanupriya muttered.

Azulon startled. _"What?" _Agni, he must _really _not have been paying attention to Ilah last night. How had he missed _that? _

"Yeah," Pransu said dryly, "that's what I said. Like, seriously?"

"We've been over this," Bhanupriya said, giving Pransu a look. "We're interviewing practically every girl in the Fire Nation as it is, if we _didn't _interview them it'd be an obvious slap in the face. And it's also a nice gesture of peace and goodwill."

"Goodwill that was _thrown back in our face!" _

"Ilah's getting desperate and inviting them made sense."

"You're telling me," Azulon said slowly, "that Ilah allowed the _Takahashi Clan _to send one of its daughters for an interview, and rather than show some gratitude that we're even acknowledging them after what they pulled, they were - how did you say it, Father?"

"Measuring the rooms with their eyes?" Pransu offered.

_"Yes. That." _

"Pretty much," Rashmi said. She and Ajit were side by side now, firing at targets in tandem.

Between arrows, Ajit said, "It's almost like they completely forgot that they supported your cousin for inheriting the throne instead of you."

"Kinda makes you wish you hadn't been so merciful after the civil war, huh?" Pransu said.

"It makes me think that I am going to send envoys and gifts back home with them to their island," Azulon growled. "To remind them of their place."

"Already on it," said Bhanupriya. "I've decided the Takahashi Clan is in need of a new temple meant to honor the might of Agni and the wisdom of Sozin's line. The Fire Sage I've pulled to oversee this project is known for his unnerving smiles. I've also commissioned the court artist to repaint one of his portraits of you, Ilah, and Iroh, which the Fire Sage will present to the clan leaders upon his arrival. It's an oversized painting - all the better to view the royal family, of course, though it might be a little hard to display. Not that the Takahashi Clan could consider _not _displaying it, of course, that would be a dreadful insult."

"Thank you for your brutal efficiency, Mother," Azulon sighed. "Ah, well, at least Iroh doesn't have to marry the girl. And I suppose it could have been worse." He thought for a moment before giving a sudden laugh. "Ha! It's not as though we have to worry about interviewing the Shiroboshi Clan!"

Pransu choked on his coffee. Bhanupriya's writing brush jolted in her hand and left a smear over her notes. Ajit jerked in the middle of reaching for his quiver, hand grasping at air. Rashmi's arrow went wide, narrowly missing the peacock-goose, and the bird gave a frightened screech as its feathers were ruffled.

"...Oh my Agni," Azulon said, and he sat down.

* * *

Two days later found Azulon in the garden with his wife, a flock of milling peacock-geese, and a woman whose family had once tried to kill his.

Ilah's smile was sharp as a knife as she poured the tea out for Daimyo Fuyuko Shiroboshi. "I do hope you enjoy it," she said, holding the cup out to her guest. "It's a special blend of my own making!"

Daimyo Fuyuko took an inquisitive sniff of the wafting steam. "It certainly smells...unique," she said. She peered into the cup a few seconds too long.

"Oh, do go ahead and drink," Ilah cooed. "It's not like it's _poisoned." _

Daimyo Fuyuko looked Ilah straight in the eye, and for a long moment the two women held each other's gaze. Azulon took advantage of the tension to survey the young Lady Ayako Shiroboshi, who was sitting prim and proper beside her mother, expression perfectly demure, hands folded in her embroidered silk sleeves until Ilah handed her a cup as well.

"Well, I should hope it isn't," Daimyo Fuyuko said at length, far too calmly, "considering it was _my sister _Lady Yuka who made that whole mess of an assassination attempt. It's not as though _I _ever made any attempts on your family."

Azulon almost heard Pransu's _"That we can prove." _He longed to be upstairs with his fathers-in-law in his office, trying to get through dumb reports while listening to their sass, but...

It'd been over a decade since the Shiroboshi Clan had posed any real threat. The palace was Azulon and Ilah's territory, and the garden was surrounded by loyal Imperial Firebenders and a flock of extremely territorial peacock-geese. Even so, Azulon didn't want to leave Ilah alone in this. Old instincts were hard to tap down - the same instincts, Azulon knew, had Ajit sitting up in his office with an arrow at the ready, prepared to snipe if their guests tried anything.

Nothing would happen. It would be suicide for anyone who tried, and at this point they'd gain nothing for their trouble except completely useless revenge. But Azulon was still determined to sit through this interview, much as he hated them. If nothing else, he wanted to look Daimyo Fuyuko in the eyes and remind her _he was still alive, _and thanks to nothing more than his mercy, _so was she. _

"Oh, of course!" Ilah laughed. "How silly of me to even bring that up! We're all friends here! Go on, drink! Drink!"

Daimyo Fuyuko drank. To Ilah's credit, she did not immediately fall over dead. She did, however, pucker her lips after the first sip. "You said this was a special blend?"

"It's experimental," Ilah said coyly. "Lady Ayako, what are your thoughts on the tea?"

Lady Ayako had taken a cautious sip after her mother. "It's very strong on the lemon," she said after a moment's thought.

"I thought that might be it," Ilah said. "How do you feel about tea in general?"

"It's a very useful drink," Lady Ayako said neutrally.

"Any preferred kinds?"

"I'm partial to mint."

"A lovely choice," Ilah nodded in such a way that meant she was fully aware that the girl didn't care but was polite enough to not bring attention to it. "Now then, I'm given to understand that you're quite the gifted young Firebender. How is your training progressing on that front?"

And so the interview went on, Ilah asking question after question, and Lady Ayako responding to each one calmly and quietly. Bhanupriya sat off to the side, jotting down notes as the interrogation wore on, Rashmi beside her watching Daimyo Fuyuko like a hawk. Daimyo Fuyuko herself kept her eyes on her teacup as her daughter's interrogation wore on - until a peacock-goose strutted by and decided it was interested in one of her bracelets. Azulon didn't bother hiding his smirk as he watched the women cautiously rebuff the bird's advances, her hands carefully holding it back from nipping at her wrists even though she very clearly wanted to strangle it. When it started flapping its wings and raising its neck frill in a hissy fit, Daimyo Fuyuko desperately snatched a cookie from the table and tossed it across the garden, and when the bird ran after it she immediately folded her hands back in her lap like nothing had happened.

When Ilah's questions wore down to a close, she sighed. "I'm so glad you were able to grace us with your presence today," she said. "And thank you so very much for allowing me to get to know you, Lady Ayako. I'm trying to see if you'd be a good fit for my Iroh. It's him you'd be marrying, you see." She turned bright eyes towards Daimyo Fuyuko. "I do hope that's alright. That she'd be marrying my Iroh, I mean. He _is _the only Fire Prince we have, since we had to kill Cousin Ichirou when Iroh was born. Not that we _wanted _to, of course, but he didn't exactly leave us much choice when he started that civil war!"

Daimyo Fuyuko stared balefully at Ilah. "Yes," she said dryly, "the civil war was hard on all our nation."

"Oh, especially for your poor clan though, wasn't it?" Ilah gasped, as though only just remembering. "Why, it must have been so very hard when you realized your sister and parents had sided with that _traitor! _Goodness!"

Daimyo Fuyuko took a breath. "Indeed."

Azulon was torn between telling Ilah to stop baiting the poor woman and simply enjoying the show. His newborn son had nearly _died _multiple times thanks to his damn cousin, and Azulon had been _beyond _merciful when he'd spared the clans that had supported Ichirou's bid for the throne. Daimyo Fuyuko could stand a bit of humbling. In comparison to the rest of her family, she'd gotten off easy.

It didn't escape his notice that Lady Ayako was watching the proceedings with a perfectly blank expression. Azulon was no stranger to the ways of the court - likely the girl had a tempest brewing just beneath the surface. No matter. They weren't going to marry Iroh into this family - they were merely being gracious by allowing them into the running to show that bygones were bygones.

"I'd just like to say," Ilah said, "that I am _so _very glad that things didn't get any worse than they did back then! You must be grateful as well, Daimyo Fuyuko. Why, if Daimyo Masami of Kohimori hadn't stopped your sister's assassins from suffocating my little Iroh, I - I don't know _what _we might have done to your clan in retaliation!"

"Something drastic, I presume," Daimyo Fuyuko said.

"Yes, most likely," Ilah nodded. "I'm so very glad we didn't have to decimate you."

"As am I, Fire Lady."

Ilah beamed. "Well then!" she said, clapping her hands. "It's been a pleasure having you here and I thank you very much for the interview, Lady Ayako. But I do believe it'd be remiss of me to keep you here any longer. Come, come, I'll show you out!"

They walked Daimyo Fuyuko and Lady Ayako out of the garden and down the palace's entry hall, past dozens of Imperial Firebenders before reaching the main entrance, where they bid them farewell and sent them down the long, guard-lined walkway toward the palace gates. Ilah waved goodbye at their retreating backs, still smiling brightly.

"Well," Azulon said, "that was delightful."

"Let's never invite them back again," Rashmi said.

Bhanupriya finished writing something and handed it off to the nearest servant. "Have this delivered by messenger hawk to the Shiroboshi residence _immediately." _

"Immediate rejection?" Azulon surmised.

"I've taken to keeping standardized copies and just filling in the girls' names as we go," Bhanupriya said.

Ilah watched mother and daughter disappear into their palanquin outside the palace gates. "If we timed it right, it'll be waiting for them by the time they get home."

* * *

There came a day when a girl was found who was almost everything Ilah had dreamed of.

Almost.

Lady Aimi of the Black Pearl Clan was a kind girl with a witty tongue. She was in the top ten of her year at the Fire Nation Royal Academy for Girls when it came to academic performance, and her firebending skills were not to be laughed at. She was altruistic and thoughtful - her hobbies included medicine and visiting her clan's wounded soldiers - but also very competitive. In her interview she asked Ilah as many questions about Iroh as Ilah was asking about her - Ilah was taken aback at first, but soon delighted in the girl's forwardness. She liked ginseng tea and swimming in the reef near her island and she had a sense of fashion that left Pransu gaping with approval.

She was also four-foot-ten.

Azulon found his wife sobbing into her father's chest that evening. Pransu was standing in the middle of the hallway, looking bemused while Ilah wailed into his robes. "This is the _hardest decision I've ever had to make!" _

"There there, Sunspot," Pransu said, gently patting her back with one hand. The other hand was holding a cup of coffee, which he was holding up and away from his sobbing daughter.

"How long - ?" Azulon started to ask.

"About ten minutes," Bhanupriya said. She was standing nearby, a form rejection letter in her hand, but the name and address had yet to be filled out.

Azulon sighed. "Ilah. Is this still about - "

"She's almost perfect!" Ilah sobbed. "And I don't know what to _do!" _

Azulon shrugged. "I've never seen you so torn up about any of these girls before. Perhaps it's a sign. Offer her a marriage contract."

"But she's _so short!" _

"Perhaps it is destiny that our line be short in stature," Azulon said sagely. "They'll make up for it with ferocity and charisma."

"How do you expect our grandchildren to lead if they have to _look up _at their subordinates? Azulon, she's shorter than Iroh. At this rate our grandchild will need to sit on three cushions on the throne so their head can be seen over the flames!"

"Ilah," Azulon said, "if you weren't so prejudiced against short girls - "

"I am _not _prejudiced against short girls! I'm prejudiced against having short grandchildren! I wouldn't care for her height if _Iroh _was six feet tall!" She sniffled. "But I wasn't able to give him height. It's just not in my genetics." She looked up at Pransu for a moment, and then her face scrunched up and she raised her fists to ineffectually pound on his chest. "Why couldn't _you _have been my biological father?!"

Pransu's eyes were six feet and six inches from the ground, and he towered over his daughter as she sobbed into his robes. "Aw, Starburst," he said, patting her shoulder. "You _know _why I don't have biological kids! No offense to your mother, Rashmi is a beautiful woman, but she is _not _my cup of coffee. She's not even coffee. She's a steaming cup of cocoa, and you _know _I don't like chocolate."

_"I _like chocolate," Bhanupriya hummed.

"That's why you got Rashmi." Pransu petted Ilah's hair. "What do you want to do, Sunspot?"

Ilah sniffled and turned to look at Bhanupriya. "Don't...don't send the rejection yet," she said quietly. "Thank her for coming and let her know we'll inform her once we've reached a decision. We'll...we'll keep her in reserve. Just in case."

* * *

It was, unfortunately, not the last time Azulon discovered his wife crying over a girl. One night, when Ilah had yet to come to their bedchamber, Azulon roamed down the hall looking for her, only to hear sniffling coming from her study. Azulon entered cautiously, and found his wife weeping over a black ribbon message in her hands. "Ilah?"

She wiped at her eyes, smearing her makeup. "Oh. Azulon. I was just...reading Cadet Jeong Jeong's latest report."

"Oh," he said. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, it's nothing, it's just…" She inhaled shakily. "He says Iroh was f-flirting with a girl, and she was interested in him, and then she realized who he _was _and - and you would think _any _girl would be thrilled to have the attention of the prince, but she - she quickly excused herself. And w-when Iroh went after her, she said…" She sniffled again. "She s-said that she didn't want to get involved with him because his mother is _terrifying." _

Smart girl, Azulon thought.

"Azulon, am I _terrifying?" _

"You're the most terrifying woman I know," he said.

Ilah burst into tears.

Azulon wondered what on earth he'd said wrong. Here in the Fire Nation that was a _compliment. _"Ilah, please, I didn't mean - "

"Azulon, am - am I _chasing away _Iroh's _prospects?" _

"It is possible," Azulon said delicately, "that in your zeal to find our son the perfect wife, you have...garnered a bit of a reputation, and...unintentionally made things difficult for yourself."

Ilah sobbed into her hands. "Oh, Agni!"

Azulon gently removed the letter from her fingers and placed it on her desk before tugging her to her feet. "You're tired, you're distressed, and you need rest," he said. "Let's go to bed. Please. We can figure this out in the morning."

"I can't believe a girl _didn't _want to flirt with her prince! Because of _me! _Azulon, what if I've completely messed this up?"

"We will figure this out _in the morning. _Please, Ilah, go to sleep."

Ilah slept in the next morning. Azulon didn't wake her - she had none of those damn interviews scheduled for the day and she was exhausted, she could afford to laze around. And she could clearly use the rest - she didn't even stir when a peacock-goose began screaming outside their bedroom window. Azulon used a fire blast to scare the dumb bird away before leaving the bedroom. He took his breakfast with Ajit and Rashmi, who looked perturbed when he told them of the previous evening's breakdown.

"I don't recall the betrothal process being this hard for our parents," Rashmi said, frowning into her hot chocolate.

"That's because our families were focused on a singular goal when arranging our marriage," Ajit shrugged. "They wanted to unite the Yu Yan and strengthen the clan before the comet came and Fire Lord Sozin made his move. They weren't looking for our perfect match - they were looking for an eligible bachelor and bachelorette. The fact that we liked each other as friends was an added bonus that they decided made up for the fact that we weren't attracted to each other."

Rashmi sighed and downed the rest of her mug. "We had it easy."

"We really did," Ajit nodded, refilling her hot chocolate.

"I'm not used to all this madness, either," Azulon said. "Ilah and I had it easy as well."

They gave him longsuffering looks.

_"Fine. I _had it easy!"

"You sure did," Rashmi snorted. "You didn't even realize you were being courted."

"Pransu wept over you," Ajit said flatly. _"Wept. _Have you any idea what it takes to make my beloved weep?"

"I have an inkling," Azulon grumbled. "Well, at least Ilah was my sole suitor, I'm sure it was easier for her without any contenders. Though why no other girls were courting me, I've no idea."

There was a long, horrible moment of silence.

"...Oh my Agni," Rashmi said finally.

"What?" Azulon asked.

"Azulon," Ajit said, "please tell me you're joking."

"What?" Azulon said again. Surely they weren't implying - "I don't recall any _other _girls vying for my affection!"

_"Oh my Agni," _Rashmi said.

Ajit was rubbing his temples. "Azulon," he said. "Azulon, do you seriously...well, I suppose you didn't even notice Ilah was courting you until she flat-out told you, so…"

"Ohhhhhhh my Agni."

"What other girls could possibly have been courting me?" Azulon demanded.

Ajit groaned. "Azulon...Azulon why do you think the Shiroboshi Clan had it out for you during the civil war?"

Azulon huffed. "Because my damn cousin promised them power should he take the throne."

_"And?" _

"There was a marriage contract tied up in there somewhere, wasn't there? The elder of the Shiroboshi sisters would have married him. Lady Yuka." He scowled. "I still don't know what exactly caused her disloyalty. She was always an exemplary officer while she served under _me, _I have no idea why she and her family decided to throw their lot in with him."

"Oh my _Agni," _Rashmi gasped, failing to suppress her laughter.

Ajit's face was in his hands. "Azulon," he said, "Yuka Shiroboshi wanted to be the Fire Lady."

"Obviously," Azulon snorted, "seeing as she agreed to marry Ichirou."

Rashmi was cackling. "Oh - my - Agni!"

"Azulon," Ajit said, "Yuka Shiroboshi wanted to be the Fire Lady _years _before Lord Ichirou ever approached her."

Azulon stared at him for a long moment. "Wait, what?"

"She attempted to court you. During the Hu Xin campaign. Ilah was livid."

"Wait, _what?" _

Ajit hadn't lifted his head from his hands. "She flirted with you. A lot. At practically every strategy meeting."

"What? No, no, I remember she was always eager to serve but she never - "

"Oh my _Agni!" _

"Of course, she didn't know you as well as Ilah did, so her style of flirting was more mainstream," Ajit said, finally raising his head. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised you didn't take notice. But yes, she was definitely attempting to court you, much to everyone's annoyance. Ilah challenged her to an Agni Kai over it once."

Azulon remembered the Agni Kai. "I...I thought that was because Ilah disagreed with her proposed strategy?"

"Do you remember what that strategy _was, _exactly?" Ajit asked.

"I remember it was not at all what the situation called for," Azulon said.

"I believe her exact words," Ajit said, ignoring Rashmi's suddenly-hysteric giggles, "were that you take them from behind, hit them hard, and then finish them off from the front while they were still breathless. When you told her it wouldn't work, she did a _thing _with her eyebrows" - Ajit proceeded to do a _thing _with his eyebrows - "and said it was still her honor to serve under you and that she hoped you found her service satisfactory."

"Ah, yes," Azulon nodded, "and it _was _a terrible idea, considering we were fighting on a plain with little in the way of cover - "

"Oh my Agni - "

"Azulon," Ajit begged.

Azulon blinked, remembered innuendos existed, and blinked again. "Wait," he said, "what?"

"You literally had no idea she was flirting with you," Ajit said, simultaneously awestruck and exasperated.

"She wanted to _marry _me?"

"Yes."

"Wait," Azulon said, eyes narrowed with thought, "wait...is this why she sided with - "

"Yes."

"Is _this _why she attempted to kill me? And Ilah? And Iroh? Multiple times?"

_"Yes." _

"...Well I suppose that _does _explain why she cursed me out at her execution."

"Oh my Agni," Rashmi said again, shaking her head, and then she leapt up with a grin. Azulon didn't like the gleam in her eyes. "I'm telling Pransu and Bhanupriya!" she declared, vaulting toward the door.

"No, don't tell them - " Azulon began to beg, but it was too late. Rashmi was already gone. Azulon sat back with a groan.

"Honestly," Ajit said, pouring himself a fortifying cup of coffee, "we all thought you were just being polite by not bringing it up when the civil war broke out."

"Are you telling me that the civil war became as large of a mess as it did because Yuka Shiroboshi decided to act like some jealous, jilted schoolgirl?"

Ajit sipped his coffee. "That's a good way to put it."

"I can't believe one of my best officers turned traitor because I didn't marry her."

"Ha," said Ajit. "Not only did you _not _marry her, you cut off any chance of _ever _marrying her when you declared you'd remain monogamous. Didn't even give her the consolation prize of being a concubine."

"After watching my father's consorts and their children murder each other for the throne, I felt monogamy was a sensible choice," Azulon huffed. "Now that you're telling me all this, I'm even more certain it was."

"Yeah, the idea of Noble Consort Yuka Shiroboshi is making me nauseous," Ajit nodded. "Think of how much scheming would be going on in the court if she were alive and involved."

Azulon shuddered. "She schemed enough _without _being royalty."

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, I suppose."

"I didn't scorn her, I just...didn't notice."

"You don't notice a lot of things," Ajit said, but his tone was fond. "Honestly my boy, prodigy or not, you would've been dead by seventeen if Ilah hadn't set her sights on you."

"That I'm well aware of," Azulon said. "Rest assured I'm very grateful to all of you for keeping me alive."

"And on the throne," Ajit reminded him. "Weeding out the competition was _not _easy."

"What are you talking about?" Azulon asked mildly. "All my siblings and their children died in tragic accidents."

Ajit choked on his coffee.

"I kid," Azulon smirked when the poor man stopped coughing. "I'm not _that _oblivious."

"Cheeky brat," Ajit snorted.

* * *

Azulon steered clear of his in-laws for the rest of that day - it was easy, all he had to do was head in the opposite direction of wherever he heard Pransu's insulted shrieking coming from. He conferred with Lo and Li on Ilah's mental state - as her ladies-in-waiting and constant companions, he hoped they might be able to do something for their lady's mental health.

The short-term treatment was obvious - Ilah needed to sleep in for as long as she needed, take the day off when she finally woke, do something relaxing that had nothing to do with her quest for the perfect daughter-in-law, and go to sleep early.

The long-term strategy was harder to figure out.

"I do wish we could just hurry up and _find _someone for Iroh to marry," Azulon groused. "That would put an end to this whole blazing mess."

The twins hummed. "We were thinking to discuss this with the Lady Bhanupriya," Lo - or Li - said, "but your input would be appreciated, Fire Lord."

"We thought to send a message to young Cadet Jeong Jeong," Li - or Lo - continued, "telling him to send less-upsetting letters to our Fire Lady."

"If he has any pertinent information that might cause her stress, he could simply send it to us instead."

"And you two could use that information to influence Ilah without causing her to have a meltdown," Azulon surmised. "Wonderful. Do it. Don't even bother asking Mother about it - you have my permission as Fire Lord to manipulate Ilah's information flow for her own good."

"Thank you, Fire Lord Azulon," they chorused, bowing with gratitude.

"In the meantime," Azulon continued, "I'm going to see if there's anything I can do to get Ilah to relax."

"My lord," Lo-or-Li said delicately, "you do realize that such a plan might necessitate _you _relaxing as well."

"I know," Azulon said mournfully, already grieving his self-imposed deadlines. "The absolute horror."

Ilah wound up sleeping until noon that day, and while she woke up miffed that she'd missed sunrise, Azulon could tell she was feeling better. They took afternoon tea in the garden, and Azulon made as many comments as he dared about how much he missed spending time with her, just the two of them and the surrounding guards and servants and peacock-geese, together, relaxing.

"Lonnie, we hardly ever relax," Ilah said, eyes sparkling with amusement.

"Maybe we should consider it," he shrugged. "We've both been working so hard, we deserve it by now I'm sure."

"Hm," she said, sipping her tea. She looked around - for notes or profiles, out of habit probably, but Lo and Li had been certain to squirrel away anything that had anything to do with prospective girls. Ilah gave up after a moment and went back to her tea. She really _must _be tired, if she wasn't forcing herself back to her work.

By some miracle, Ilah agreed to retreat back to bed at sunset. Perhaps convincing her to take a break wouldn't be as hard as Azulon had thought.

* * *

The next day was back to business as usual - Azulon went back to his work, Ilah went back to her interviews, and Ajit and Pransu went back to heckling from Azulon's office window. Things weren't completely the same, though. Ilah's interrogations were just a little less demanding, and half of Ajit and Pransu's peanut gallery comments had to do with how tired their daughter must be. Ilah needed a break, it was becoming clear. Azulon could use a break himself, he supposed. At the very least, he could use a break from peacock-geese and their bothersome habits of nibbling at food that wasn't theirs, picking at shiny things that weren't theirs, and bursting into the windows of offices that weren't theirs. Azulon ignored the interview in the garden and his fathers-in-laws' sass and the peacock-goose's feathery hissy fit in favor of the blank sheet of paper in front of him. He was trying to come up with plans for the war...but now that he knew his wife needed to relax, he was considering plans for that, as well.

"So I'm considering attacking the Northern Water Tribe again."

Ajit paused in the midst of sniffing his tea. The interview in the garden was over, and Azulon had decided he wanted a tea break from his work. "Is that wise?"

Azulon contemplated his own cup. "I know our past attempts went...poorly."

"Understatement," Pransu snorted from where he'd cornered the peacock-goose.

"But we'll have to deal with them sooner or later."

"Will we?" Ajit hummed. "They're all the way at the North Pole and they never show any inclination of leaving it."

"Azulon, honey," Pransu said, grasping the peacock-goose's neck in his hand and desperately holding its wings to its sides with his other arm, "I know we're out for total world domination, but no one will fault you if you decide the frozen wasteland doesn't count and they're welcome to it."

"We've had a great deal of momentum in the northeastern Earth Kingdom recently." Not least because Iroh was out there doing his country proud and keeping the troops inspired. "I'd prefer to batter the Water Tribe down _before _we start on the northern regions."

Ajit sipped his tea. "I believe the Northern Water Tribe has made it very clear over the last few decades that their response to the war is complete isolationism. I doubt they'd raise a finger to help the Earth Kingdom."

Azulon shrugged. "We still don't have confirmation on whether or not they have the Avatar."

Pransu looked like he might say something, but that was when the peacock-goose flung its tail out. Pransu spluttered at the onslaught of feathers and stumbled towards the window.

Ajit ignored his lover's antics and gave Azulon a dull look over his teacup. "It's been fifty-three years and _none _of the nations have yet to produce the Avatar."

"Personally, I don't want to have to melt the whole damn arctic ocean because of a _maybe," _Pransu said, finally shoving the protesting peacock-goose back out the window.

Azulon sighed. "Alright, alright." He looked outside, past the hissing peacock-goose and down to the garden to where Ilah sat with Rashmi and Bhanupriya, Lo and Li hovering nearby as they discussed the latest girl's interview. "Honestly, I'm just considering the likelihood of accomplishing futile missions."

"Ah," Ajit said. "Well, if our daughter is able to fulfill her dreams, perhaps you should consider the North Pole."

"I think I should consider a vacation," Azulon said.

"Hm. Yes, perhaps consider that too."

* * *

**Annnnnd that's chapter 2. We are officially halfway through this madness! If you liked it, please leave a comment and let me know! :D**

**Fun fact: This story has illustrations of the OCs! But of course I can't post them on FFdotnet. :P You can find Pransu and Ajit and Rashmi and Bhanupriya on either the AO3 version of this story, or on my tumblr. Go to caelum-in-the-avatarverse and search for the "Caelum's OCs" tag. Many thanks to Raff for the wonderful art!**

**Notes, notes...**

**I have this beautiful mental image of Ilah stomping along tossing girl after girl over her shoulder like "no, no, nope, no, ABSOLUTELY NOT, no..." while Azulon follows behind her picking the discarded ladies up like "this one will be good in the Ministry of Finance, this one would be fantastic as an officer, this one needs an apprenticeship under a master firebender..."**

**Someday I'm gonna write a bunch of oneshots concerning Azulon's fight for the throne, including his disaster of a courtship. XD The only reason Azulon is alive today is because 15-year-old Ilah pointed at him and said "That one. I want that one." and her parents all looked at each other like "craaaaaaap we gotta make sure this kid becomes Fire Lord so that our baby girl is Fire Lady and doesn't end up dead." Bhanupirya alone is responsible for arranging the deaths of a good chunk of Sozin's other kids. ****_And it almost didn't pay off_**** because my Azulon is probably a demi-romantic asexual who had no idea Ilah *liked* him. I'm aro-ace myself and I can confirm that going through life having no idea people are flirting with you only to realize what that conversation was about years later is a mood. -_-**

**Also please note that in my headcanon having multiple spouses was a normal Fire Lord thing until Azulon, who's never been interested in anyone but Ilah, and who also had to survive all his half-siblings and their mothers trying to kill him. Once he became Fire Lord he was like "that's it, no concubines for me, I am MONOGAMOUS and I'm only gonna have one kid so there's no stupid battles over the line of succession!" I would say that having an heir with no spare was a stupid idea, but seeing how Ozai messed things up, Azulon might've had a point.**

**Pransu and Bhanupriya are gay-lesbian solidarity and also if you think they're scary now you should know that they were scarier when they were trying to help Ajit and Rashmi conceive Ilah. Also when Ilah was trying to get Azulon's attention. Pransu may or may not have shoved a copy of the Kama Sutra into Prince Azulon's face. Honestly even tho she isn't biologically descended from them THESE TWO are the ones Ilah inherited her dogged pursuit of her goals from.**

**Backstory allusions! Worldbuilding! In case it hasn't been clear: Azulon's rise to power was prefaced by his many half-siblings and -niblings dying, many of whose deaths were not even actually his fault! A lot of them just did each other in, and others died in the war. But Azulon's faction did take out a good chunk of the competition, and by the end he was an only child. He DID, however, have a few living cousins via Sozin's siblings who'd intelligently stayed away from the ascension insanity. Ichirou was the descendant of Sozin's sister Junko, and was Azulon's heir apparent for quite some time. And then Iroh was born, and Ichirou took offense to not being the future Fire Lord anymore, and there was a civil war which wound up setting the Great March of Civilization back by a few years, and Azulon's still upset about that. **

**The families who supported Ichirou's bid for the throne are still upset about that whole mess too, and will be for a very long time. I'll be shocked if anyone remembers, but this isn't the first time I've mentioned Lady Ayako of Shiroboshi. ;)**

**Next chapter we meet two more OCs - one who I've never mentioned before, and one who I haven't written yet but who some folks have been interested in meeting for a little while now.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you, as always, to Stingrae for the beta job, and also for co-developing our OC Prince Pang Da! He was a fun character to create and we're very fond of him.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Of course, being the Fire Lord and Fire Lady, it was more of a working vacation.

"Cousin, I thought you were here to relax! Why did you bring so much _paperwork?" _

While it was true that there was no room for lackadaisical, useless nobles in Azulon's life, it was also true that there was precisely one exception. Lord Pang Da was the son of Azulon's youngest uncle, Prince Benjiro, who'd been born some time after former Fire Lord Ahsan had retired and ceded the throne to his son Sozin. Uncle Benjiro had grown up a carefree prince in a peaceful world, with no real responsibilities and more time and wealth than he knew what to do with. He'd been known as a legendary host who threw lavish parties, and had done so often, even as the Great March of Civilization had taken its first steps. Sozin had been oddly fond of his kid brother, for reasons that Azulon hadn't understood in his early youth. _He'd _viewed Uncle Benjiro as wasteful and useless, albeit still one of the more pleasant relatives he had.

And that was it, Azulon knew now. Prince Benjiro had been wasteful and useless, constantly relaxing and never aggressive, and because of that Sozin had been able to _trust _him. Azulon had been able to trust him, too. After watching every other prince and princess slander, fight, and kill each other in their bids for the throne, Uncle Benjiro had been a breath of fresh air. The man had made it clear he had no wish for the crown. His only desire in life was to live in pointedly unambitious luxury, and he'd achieved it. He'd only had a single child later in life, and only after Sozin had tacitly given permission by expressing concern that his little brother had no offspring to care for him.

Prince Pang Da was just nine years older than Azulon, and was following closely in his father's footsteps - right down to Prince Benjiro's propensity to stay on Ember Island, well away from the court. Father and son had made minimal contributions to governmental matters and the war effort, preferring instead to stay politically unassuming in their little paradise. Despite Azulon's overarching hatred of lazy, useless nobles, he was touched by how much effort Cousin Pang Da put into remaining a non-threat.

It was nice to know that he had _one _blood relative who didn't require assassination.

"The country does not stop running simply because I'm on vacation, Cousin," Azulon said, watching his aides set up the study. He'd brought a trunkful of documents in need of review. "Don't fret - it's a far lighter workload than usual. I'm making a point of relaxing."

"I'm going to have to teach you how to relax," Pang Da said, eyeing the paperwork. His eyes drifted to the doorway across the hall, where Lo and Li were unpacking _several _trunks full of paper. "And why has _Ilah _brought so much paperwork? Spirits, she's brought more than you!"

Azulon took a deep inhale. "That's her...personal project," he said. Pang Da blinked at him, and Azulon said, "Surely you've heard how her attempts to find Iroh a wife are going?"

Pang Da blanched. "Who _hasn't?" _he said, turning back to stare in awe at the files piling up around Ilah's desk. "I thought it was an exaggeration, surely!"

"If only," Azulon grumbled.

"I never thought I'd say this, Cousin, but for once your workload is actually far more sensible than your wife's!"

"This is indeed a sad day in Fire Nation history." He'd tried to get Ilah to leave it behind, but, well. Azulon couldn't bring _himself _to abandon his work entirely, so it came with him, which of course gave Ilah a foothold to insist that _no, _her work was coming _too. _At least her parents had all convinced her to only bring the notes on girls who might be found in the area. Unfortunately, with Ember Island being the playground for rich nobility, there were still plenty of girls who might be found in the area.

"Well," Pang Da sighed, "I suppose I'll just have to find ways to distract Ilah so she doesn't stress herself while she's supposed to be on vacation."

"Good luck with that," Azulon said.

"Oh, it shouldn't be too hard!" Pang Da said with a wave of his hand. "After all, I have plenty of practice distracting _you!" _

Azulon snorted, and Pang Da smiled serenely at him.

He was smiling less serenely later that afternoon, when his every attempt to engage Ilah in something that was _not _courtship-related fell flat.

"But Ilah, the sunset is absolutely lovely here! You must come down to the beach and watch it with us!"

"Thank you, Cousin, but I _really _must get started reviewing these profiles. Some of these girls' families are due to visit the island this week and I need to know all about them!"

"Well, if you won't stay for the sunset, at least join us for dinner! I've had the servants bring it down to the beach - "

"Oh, Cousin, I really do appreciate your hospitality, but Lo and Li have already brought my meal to my study."

Pang Da shot a betrayed look at Lo and Li. They gazed back at him with the flat expression of ladies-in-waiting who knew that there was no winning this argument, that food would not be enough to entice Ilah from her work, and that they'd have to deliver it to her if they didn't want their lady to starve.

"She's worse than you!" Pang Da ranted to Azulon later, while they ate dinner on the beach.

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that, please?" Azulon asked, smirking.

"She's _worse _than _you! _For once you are not the overachieving workaholic in this family, Azulon!"

Azulon stared at his cousin for a long moment. "I hope you know that I am going to cherish this moment for the rest of my life."

"Ha ha," Pang Da said.

"I should have it commemorated in a portrait. For posterity."

"Oh, now there's an idea!" Pang Da said, and he snapped his fingers at one of the servant girls hovering around. "Aimi, be a dear and sketch us, please."

The girl bowed and broke formation from her coworkers to sit down in the sand. She produced a sketchpad from her pocket, took a stick of charcoal that'd been languishing in the firepit, and, after taking a moment to stare at Azulon and Pang Da, began drawing.

Pang Da ignored her, having gone back to his meal already. Azulon turned an amused look on his cousin. "You just keep artists around in case you need a portrait on a moment's notice?"

"I keep myself surrounded by people who are capable of producing beauty," Pang Da said. "How is life worth living if it is not beautiful, Cousin?"

Azulon snorted. "How is life worth living if you accomplish nothing in it?" he teased.

Pang Da was a large man, and when he laughed the sound resonated from deep within his round belly. "Hey now, I've accomplished plenty! I've always been a great supporter of the arts, I've discovered quite a few young talents who might never have risen to prominence if I'd never given them their big break. And the Ember Island players have positively blossomed thanks to my patronage over the last few decades. Finest opera house in all the Fire Nation, I guarantee it!"

"Ember Island truly has become a dreamworld of art thanks to you," Azulon sighed.

"Yes, thank you. Not to mention I've managed to keep _you _from dying at an early age."

"Ah, yes. I shall always be grateful to you for providing a safe haven during the civil war."

"I was thinking more of all the times I've dragged you off for a relaxing weekend to prevent you from keeling over from your workload, Cousin," Pang Da sighed.

"Hmph," said Azulon.

"Of course, now I'll have to put my experience to use making Ilah relax," Pang Da mused.

Azulon snorted. "If you manage to accomplish that, I'll be indebted to you forever."

Pang Da thought it over. "Perhaps she'd be interested in seeing a play?"

* * *

Azulon had reports delivered to the beach house daily, though he only glanced over them, making minimal responses to those that needed any. Pang Da didn't bother scoffing at Azulon's work - he was too busy gaping in horror at Ilah's. The evening of their second day on Ember Island, he presented Azulon with a small, framed painting - the two of them relaxing on the beach, watching the sunset. A set of words were painted off to the side of the paper, a poem commemorating That Time Azulon Was Not As Bad A Workaholic As His Wife. Azulon laughed when Pang Da gave it to him, and then hid it immediately when Ilah looked up in interest. He needn't have bothered - she quickly saw that whatever it was had nothing to do with potential brides, and she went back to frowning over her notes on the neighbors' daughters.

It was a working vacation, sure, but that didn't mean it _wasn't _relaxing. Azulon's workload was much reduced, the beach house was far removed from the hustle and bustle of the capital city, the area was quieter and peaceful and beautiful - and there were absolutely no peacock-geese. No dumb birds pecking at things they shouldn't, or hissing, or performing ostentatious displays of feathers, or flying through windows, or screaming in chorus.

Also, his in-laws weren't here, which was its own brand of relaxing. Azulon loved them, he truly did, be he could only take so much, and he cherished any quality time he got with his wife away from her parents. He hoped they were having some quality time away from their middle-aged kids, though he refused to consider how many palace rooms were being graced with their passionate love. He hoped they didn't scar the servants for life.

When two days had gone by and Azulon found the country hadn't fallen apart without his direct supervision, he managed to distract Ilah from her paper-plastered study long enough to take her for an evening outing.

He couldn't have done it without Pang Da, Lo, and Li's help. Mostly Lo and Li's. Pang Da had brainstormed the entire idea, but Lo and Li were the ones who actually executed it. Ilah was a determined woman, but she couldn't stand against the combined forces of her husband and a pair of perfectly-synced twins.

"But Azulon," she protested, swiping for a scribbled-over paper. Lo neatly caught her waist and tied the end of a red and gold sari to Ilah's skirt. "I need to plan - I know Lady Chan is going to be at her beach house in a few days, and her daughter is six feet tall - "

"I have tickets to tonight's showing of Love Amongst the Dragons," Azulon said, holding up said tickets.

Ilah paused just long enough for Li to swoop around her, perfectly draping the sari over her shoulder. "But..." she said, as Lo slid several golden bangles over her wrist.

"Allow me to reiterate that," Azulon said. "I have _all _the tickets for tonight's showing of Love Amongst the Dragons." Behind him, Pang Da held up a stack of neat papers, smiling smugly. It hadn't been easy, selling out a theatre on short notice, but Pang Da was the Ember Island Players' main benefactor, and they'd been happy to hurl themselves through hoops at his request. They'd even managed to get the tickets that had _already been sold. _Granted, it was a bit easier to do with a royal decree, but Azulon appreciated their efforts.

"A _private _showing?" Ilah gasped as Li pulled her hair up into a topknot.

"Yes," Azulon nodded. The box office had been delighted to sell out the entire theatre, and Azulon had been pleased to buy out every seat. He wasn't running the risk of Ilah seeing a noble family with a decently-tall daughter and getting distracted from the show.

Ilah thought it over. "Alright," she said. "I suppose I could use a break."

"That _is _why we're on vacation, my dear," Azulon hummed.

"Just give me a moment to get ready - "

Lo slid a hairpiece over Ilah's topknot. "There, my lady," she said, "you're ready."

"Oh, perfect! Thank you girls!"

"Yes, thank you," Azulon said, giving the twins a meaningful look. They smiled back at him.

"Have fun at the theatre!" Pang Da shouted after them as Azulon bundled Ilah into their carriage. "I do hope you enjoy it! Miss Kaipo truly plays the best Li I've ever seen! And her acrobatics are top-notch! Makes me dizzy just watching her!"

Buying out the theatre had been a good idea. Private boxes were all well and good, but staying away from the rabble also meant staying away from the action. Azulon and Ilah treated themselves to front-row seats in the empty theatre and got an up-close viewing. Azulon had to hand it to the actors - a surprise private performance for the Fire Lord and Fire Lady had to be nerve-wracking, but if they were nervous he couldn't tell. If anything, he thought this might be the best performance he'd ever seen - and that was saying something, since the Ember Island Players were the pinnacle of fine acting. Lo and Li sat behind them, silent and unobtrusive and watching their lady like hawks. The theater supplied them with a table of food and drink and no small number of staff members at their beck and call, and Azulon and Ilah munched their way through a bowl of fire flakes as the show progressed.

And then Princess Buttercup shoved the Dread Pirate Ro Ba down a hill.

"Aaaaaaas youuuuuu wiiiiiiiiiiish!" the black-clad pirate shouted as she tumbled across the stage in a staggering number of somersaults. Pang Da had not been exaggerating the actress's acrobatics.

"Oh my sweet darling Li, what have I done?" Princess Buttercup gasped, realizing that the pirate captain was actually her thought-dead farmgirl girlfriend, and threw herself after her.

Azulon became aware of Ilah's sniffles as the actresses went through some impressively over-the-top cartwheeling choreography. "Ilah," he sighed.

"Oh, don't mind me, I just - " she sniffled again. Azulon resolved to ignore it. On stage, the actresses were doing a better job than he was - Li only had eyes for Buttercup as they laid on the ground together.

"Can you move at all?" Li asked.

"Move? You're _alive," _Buttercup stage-whispered. "If you want I could fly."

Ilah sniffled again. Lo or Li leaned over the seat and handed Ilah a handkerchief. Azulon inhaled deeply and waited for the story to take them back to the less-sappy plotline of the Dragon Emperor. Ilah's sniffling died down once they were away from Li and Buttercup's reunion.

It was back when Buttercup told Prince Hu Pi Ding what she really thought of him.

"You can't hurt me. Li and I are joined by the bonds of love. And you cannot track that, not with a thousand shirshus. And you cannot break it, not with a thousand swords. And when I say you are a coward, it is only because you are the slimiest weakling ever to crawl the earth!"

Ilah burst into sobs.

_"Ilah," _Azulon pleaded.

"I just want our son to have a love this perfect!" she wailed. "Is that too much to ask?!"

To the actor's credit, Prince Hu Pi Ding barely looked at the royal couple as he dragged Buttercup offstage to lock her in her room. Azulon reached over and patted Ilah's shoulder. "Darling, I'm...sure you'll find someone eventually…" Lies, he wasn't sure she'd ever find anyone, her standards were far too exacting, Azulon wasn't sure it was possible for anyone that perfect to exist.

On stage, Prince Hu Pi Ding loomed over the captured Li. "You truly love each other. And so you _might _have been truly happy! Not one couple in a century has that chance, no matter what the storybooks say!"

Tears ran down Ilah's cheeks, and she dabbed at them with her handkerchief. "Oh my spirits he's _right! _I'm never going to find Iroh the perfect wife!"

_"Ilah," _Azulon said as Prince Hu Pi Ding started draining Li's life force. Was it just him, or was Li's actress making far more noise than was really needed? He could barely hear Ilah's crying. Maybe that was the point. "Darling, I'm sure you'll find Iroh a lovely wife eventually - "

"No, Lonnie, don't you _see? _You and I are this century's happy couple!" Ilah wailed. "We took it all for ourselves and left nothing for our so-o-o-on!" She was ugly-sobbing into her soaked handkerchief now, and Azulon stared at her, at a complete loss. Lo and Li silently leaned over the seat, and one of them gently took the handkerchief from Ilah's hand while the other smoothly replaced it with a fresh one.

"Ilah, please, you're stressing too much over - "

"Over _what, _Azulon? Our daughter-in-law? Our son's _wife? _The mother of our _grandchildren? _The Fire Nation's _future Fire Lady?!" _

"Overstressing is how one ruins even the soundest strategy, Ilah - "

"I'm not _overstressing _and my strategy is _perfect! _I need to get back to the house - "

"Ilah!"

"I have to see if Lady Chan's daughter would be suitable - "

"Ilah could you please just _relax _for _one night?" _

"How do you expect me to relax about this, Azulon?"

"Well _crying _about it isn't getting us _anywhere _right now!"

"You're not worried about it at all!"

"What do you expect me to _do, _Ilah?"

"WELL MAYBE IF YOU STOPPED INTERRUPTING WE COULD FIND OUT," came a shout from the stage.

Azulon turned a glare toward the stage. "I AM THE LORD OF THIS NATION!" he bellowed, and froze when he saw that the scene had shifted back to the grandfather reading the story to his sick grandson. The old man sitting on the bed jumped when he saw he had Azulon's attention.

For a long, awkward moment, Fire Lord and actor stared at each other. But the show must go on, and so the actor continued, voice faltering slightly, "Just...be patient...and _listen?" _

Oh. Right. It was a line from the play.

"Stop terrorizing our poor people, dear," Ilah said, dabbing at her eyes with her new handkerchief.

Onstage, the actor mastered himself and launched back into his lines. Azulon groaned and put his head in his hands. "Sake and fire flakes," he ordered the nearest staff member.

* * *

A few afternoons later, Ilah departed for Lady Chan's house, Lo and Li in tow.

Azulon resigned himself to a solitary walk on the beach, and was pleasantly surprised when he found it wasn't so solitary after all. A slim woman was standing in the surf, her hands clutching those of two small boys. Azulon smiled despite himself as he drew nearer and had his suspicions confirmed - he hadn't expected to see her here on Ember Island, but it was always good to see an old friend. "Daimyo Masami," he greeted her, staying at the edge of the waves' reach.

Despite the fact that he'd walked towards her in total silence, and she'd never once turned around during his approach, Daimyo Masami of Kohimori Island turned to face her Fire Lord without the slightest hint of surprise. Must have been that sixth sense of hers. "Fire Lord Azulon," she said evenly. "You look" - there was just the _slightest _hesitation before she finished - "well."

"Well," he repeated, giving her a flat look. Azulon had no idea how spirit sight worked, but he was certain he did not look _well _to her. Lady Masami might never talk about it, what with all the genetic baggage it came with, but he knew for a fact that she could _at least _see auras. "Don't patronize me."

_"Well," _she shrugged, and just like that she wasn't saying he looked _good, _just that he looked...well... "You look stressed, which is odd considering you ought to be here on vacation."

"Ilah's looking for a daughter-in-law."

"Ah," Masami said. "Yes, I've heard about that endeavor. How is it going?"

Azulon allowed himself a strangled groan.

"I see," Masami said. She looked down at her sons. "I'm going to chat with Fire Lord Azulon," she said to the older one, pulling them both back from the surf. "You run along down that way" - she gestured down the beach - "and don't go in over your knees. Stay where I can see you and keep an eye on your brother."

"Okay," the boy said, taking the smaller boy's hand, and he blinked up at Azulon for a moment.

"Hello there," Azulon said, attempting to be genial. He really didn't have much experience with small children - Iroh was the only one he'd ever spent much time with. He'd had some nieces and nephews, of course, but they were all dead by the time he took the throne.

"You're _really _red and green!" the boy blurted.

It was Azulon's turn to stare.

"Shigeru!" Masami snapped, and the child ducked his head. "We've been over this!"

"Sorry, Mother," the boy mumbled.

"Don't apologize to _me." _

Shigeru hesitated before turning towards Azulon, and he released his brother's hand so he could give a proper little bow. "Sorry, Fire Lord Azulon. I...spoke out of turn."

"Hm," Azulon said. "Well, no harm done, though you'll want to watch your tongue in the future." Masami's firstborn would eventually be a member of the Fire Court, after all.

"He knows he's not supposed to just talk about people's auras without them asking first," Masami said, frowning at her son.

"Is that so?" Azulon asked. "Well then, you've gotten me curious, so I'll ask. What do you mean, I'm red and green?"

Masami stiffened ever-so-slightly, and Azulon stifled his annoyance. Honestly, he'd had her problematic heritage wiped from the record and he owed her his life several times over; she might have good reason to be wary of people asking about her family's unique gifts, but he hoped she'd know _he _meant no harm.

Shigeru glanced from Azulon to his mother and back. "It's...uh…it's like...uh…"

Masami closed her eyes and exhaled. "Collect your words, Shigeru, and don't stutter."

The boy frowned, stared at the air an inch to Azulon's left with intense concentration, and finally said, "It's a bright red. That means strong."

Azulon smiled. "Well, that's good then," he said. Honestly he rather liked the sound of that. Of course red would be a good, strong color. "You run along, now. I'm going to talk with your mother."

Shigeru nodded and, at a look from his mother, gave Azulon a perfectly respectful bow before grabbing his brother's hand and running off down the beach.

"So," Azulon said, still watching the children dash down the sand, "what does green mean?"

"In general?" Masami asked. "Nature. Growth. Life. Peace."

"And _my _green, specifically?"

She sighed. "Extremely stressed out."

Azulon mulled that over. "I'd hate to know what Ilah looks like, then."

"Ha," Masami said, and she shook her head. "I do apologize. He knows better than to just blurt out people's colors. We're working on his formality. It's a chore."

"He's young," Azulon shrugged. "Enjoy it while it lasts. Before long you'll have to worry about finding him a wife."

"Perhaps I could take some tips from Fire Lady Ilah."

Azulon shuddered. "Please believe me when I say you do not want _any _of Ilah's tips." He began walking slowly along the edge of the waves, and Masami moved to follow him.

"Forgive me for asking so bluntly, but is it really going that poorly? I've heard rumors and I know Ilah is an exacting woman with high standards, but from what I've heard it sounds as though she's rejected everyone in the court."

"She very nearly has," Azulon grumbled.

"Is the Fire Nation really so hard-pressed for upstanding young ladies?"

"No, and that's what's so frustrating," Azulon groused. "Nearly every girl Ilah has interviewed has been almost perfect. But almost isn't good enough. Ilah can always find something she considers a flaw. And she has her heart set on our daughter-in-law being tall. Height is probably the main reason she's rejected half the candidates."

Masami looked sympathetically amused. "I'm sorry to hear it's been so hard."

"She's only made it harder on herself," Azulon sighed. "But there's a bright side to all this."

"Oh?"

"Yes. Many of the ministries now have fresh blood in their ranks, in the form of up-and-coming young ladies whose talents will surely bring glory to the Fire Nation."

Masami laughed. "Well there's that at least. I'm glad to hear that those poor girls weren't put through Ilah's wringer for nothing."

"Yes, well," Azulon hummed, "this wouldn't be the first time I found a gifted yet overlooked young thing and placed her somewhere where she'd be of the most use."

Masami blinked twice before giving him a warm smile. "I'm sure they're all quite grateful for their Fire Lord's efficiency."

Azulon smiled back and turned to survey the boys playing in the surf further down the beach. "How old are they now?"

"Shigeru is seven," Masami said. "Masao is three."

"So young," Azulon sighed. He thought of Iroh at that age. He'd been rambunctious and happy. Not that he wasn't anymore, but he was less carefree now that the weight of adulthood was beginning to settle on his shoulders. To think that soon he'd be _married, _and then a father. Provided they ever found him a wife, of course…

Azulon paused that train of thought and turned it around in his head.

"Oh," he said after a moment.

"Hm?" Masami asked, her gaze flickering from her sons to him.

"Nothing," Azulon said. "I just had the thought. It's a shame you have no daughters. Or that you're not younger. Or that you're married."

Masami was taken aback. "I...even if I had daughters, they'd be far too young for marriage."

"I could convince Ilah to wait."

"And if I wasn't married I'd be far too old for Iroh."

"Not necessarily, though the fact that you two are half a generation apart is unfortunate."

"And if I was younger, then...well, if I may be so bold, I believe the civil war would've turned out much differently without me. I'd probably be bowing before Fire Lord Ichirou."

"That's not boldness," Azulon said, "that's the simple truth. Still, it's a pity," he sighed, and before he realized what he was saying he added, "You would have made a wonderful daughter-in-law."

The admission startled him as much as it did her. But the words were out now, no taking them back, and what's more - he found that he was perfectly serious about them.

She studied him. "Do you truly mean that?" she asked. "You would honestly wish my line to marry into yours? Despite everything?"

Azulon looked over at the ocean and took a moment to consider it. Finally, he said, "You are one of my greatest allies, and despite your family's past faults, you have served me and the Fire Nation faithfully for sixteen years. That's worth the risk of a few gray eyes. I personally decreed your lineage to be beyond reproach. What would it say of me if I declared you so, and then refused to allow your line to marry into mine?"

"As always, my Fire Lord is a man of great principle and virtue," Masami smiled. She turned back to her children, watching them splash in the surf. "Well," she said, "perhaps one day our lines will be joined. There'll always be more generations."

Azulon groaned. "Yes, but at the rate Ilah's going, you'll probably have grandchildren before I do."

* * *

Ilah came home that evening in a somber mood.

"How did things go with Lady Chan?" Azulon dared to ask when he greeted her in the entry hall.

Ilah's lips trembled. "Her daughter really _is _six feet tall." She sniffled.

Azulon sighed. "But…?"

"But she's hopelessly awkward!" Ilah wailed. "I had to wade through the most _stilted _conversation Azulon! And she has a grating laugh, which she used whenever she was confused, which of course was often. Definitely _not _Fire Lady material!"

Azulon sighed. "Well, if you're in the mood for better conversation, we have company."

"I'm not in the mood for company," Ilah said sullenly.

"It's Masami."

Ilah brightened immediately. "Masami's here?"

"In the sitting room."

Ilah took off for the sitting room. Azulon turned his gaze to Lo and Li. "Out of curiosity," he said, "how many eligible young ladies are _left _in the Fire Nation?"

"Not many," one of them admitted.

"Fire Lady Ilah has been considering widening the search to the colonies," the other added.

"Agni preserve me," Azulon grumbled, and he turned to follow after his wife. He found Ilah sitting across from Masami and Pang Da, griping about all her hardships over a steaming cup of coffee Masami had been brewing when Azulon had left to welcome Ilah home. Azulon sat down in a chair and gratefully accepted the cup Masami held out to him.

"You would not _believe _the time I've had of it, Masami!" Ilah said, waving her hand about. Masami, who'd spent the last hour listening to Azulon rant about Ilah's standards and Pang Da rant about her incapability to relax, smiled encouragingly. "First I had every idiot in the court throwing their sub-par daughters at me assuming they'd make the cut, and now apparently I've garnered such a reputation that girls are starting to _avoid _Iroh. Avoid my Iroh! Can you believe that?"

"I can't believe you've garnered a reputation," Masami said with a droll smile. "You already had one, after all."

Ilah snickered. "Yes, well, I've also had to put up with a number of cursory interviews with certain annoying families that I only did to maintain good relations with them. I interviewed the Shiroboshi Clan, Masami. The Shiroboshi Clan!"

"I heard about that," Masami laughed. "From what I was told, it sounded very satisfying for you. I do wish I'd been able to see it."

"Oh, I suppose they still don't like you, hm?" Ilah asked sweetly.

"They never did forgive me for getting their last clan leaders arrested and executed," Masami sighed. "So how is Iroh handling all of this?"

"Oh, my Iroh is off bringing us glory in the Earth Kingdom. He's far too busy to worry about things like his own betrothal."

"I still can't believe he's that age already," Masami mused. "It's amazing how fast they grow up. One minute he's a baby getting smothered by an assassin I'm about to chi-block, the next he's off conquering the Earth Kingdom and waiting on a marriage contract."

"You should see Masami's children," Azulon broke in to tell Ilah. "They're walking and talking now."

Ilah's eyes lit up. "Are they here?"

"I had them sent home," Masami said. "But if you're going to be on Ember Island for a while, I suppose I could arrange to visit with them."

"Yes!" Pang Da broke in, having seen the look in Ilah's eyes. "Do bring the children! We haven't had any children in this house since Iroh was little! It would be so nice to hear the pitter patter of little feet in the halls again, wouldn't it Ilah?"

Azulon very nearly glared at his cousin - for all they knew this would just get Ilah thinking about _grandchildren _\- but Ilah didn't look anywhere near a mental breakdown. In fact she looked delighted.

"Oh, that would be lovely!" she said. "I'd like to see them. They must be, what, six and three now?"

"Seven and four."

"You must bring them next time you come over. I'm sure we could locate some of Iroh's old toys keep them entertained. Couldn't we, Pang Da?" she asked, turning to him.

"Yes!" Pang Da beamed. "Yes, yes, I have them all packed away in the attic! I'd be delighted to find them for you! Li!" he shouted at one of the servant girls hovering by the doorway. "Go up to the attic and bring down those old toys!"

"There are some very nice trees in your courtyard," Masami said. "That will keep my boys entertained enough, I'm sure."

"Ah, so they're already climbing! How impressive!"

"It's a family tradition," Masami shrugged.

"Yes, your family always did have a way with heights," Ilah mused.

Azulon saw the start of Masami's grimace before she hid the expression in her coffee cup.

There was a sudden _rat-a-tat-tat SCREECH! _from the drawing room window, and they all looked up to see the silhouette of a messenger hawk on the other side of the window paper, tapping on the sill. Azulon saw the blood drain from Pang Da's face, and he was sure his own expression wasn't much better.

"Goodness," Masami said, staring at the window. "That's quite a determined bird. Is it urgent?"

"Oh, do let it in before it tears the window apart," Ilah huffed as Lo and Li ran to do just that. One of them drew the window open, and the other one plucked up the hawk, holding its wings to its sides while her sister withdrew the letter from its back, the neatly-folded scrap of cloth bound with a black ribbon. Azulon watched with sharp eyes as the letter was unraveled. A black-ribbon message either meant something terrible that required his immediate attention was afoot back at the Capital -

"It's from Cadet Jeong Jeong, My Lady."

\- or it meant that Ilah was due another report on Iroh's love life.

Azulon sagged back down in his seat. Well, at least things back at the Capital were fine. He had reservations about leaving his parents-in-law in charge of the place while he was gone - but they were mostly reservations about how much they were going to make out over all the furniture, not about their actual governing skills.

Ilah looked...less enthused than Azulon had expected. "Oh," she sighed. "Him. Is it anything pressing?"

The twins were reading over the letter. One of them was scrutinizing the hawk in her hands. "No, My Lady," they chorused.

"Just more of the same, then?"

"Yes, My Lady."

Ilah waved a hand and slouched back in her seat. "I don't even want to read it, then. Just...file it with the rest."

The twins bowed and left the room with the hawk. Pang Da was staring at Ilah with an expression that might have been hope.

"Cadet Jeong Jeong?" Masami inquired.

"My sadly-useless inside man," Ilah sighed. "Well, no, he's not useless. He's been most enlightening. Unfortunately it's nothing I wanted to be enlightened _about." _

Masami looked to Azulon for clarification.

"He's a friend of Iroh's," Azulon said. "Ilah enlisted him to alert her if Iroh shows interest in any girls in particular. Unfortunately, Iroh takes after his grandmother."

Masami smirked. "I've heard about the prince's habitual wooing. He's very good at it, they say."

"I just wish he'd find true love," Ilah sighed.

"Well, Lady Rashmi did," Masami pointed out. "I'm sure that, given time, Iroh will follow his grandmother's footsteps in that regard, too. It's good that you have this Cadet Jeong Jeong to keep you abreast of matters."

"Fat lot of good it's done me," Ilah huffed. "The most I've learned from him is that Iroh loves every girl he sees, which is useless. He's also told me that a number of girls have approached him in the hopes of getting close to Iroh - which of course means they aren't the right sort of girls to be Fire Lady. And recently he hasn't even been reporting much at all! Which I suppose is understandable - Cadet Jeong Jeong is in the Navy, and Iroh has been inland for some time now. But it's still very disappointing." She shook her head. "But enough about me! How are you, Masami? It's been far too long, we have so much to catch up on!"

"I was in court last month," Masami said, amused.

"Far too long!" Ilah repeated. "I didn't even know you were going to be here on Ember Island! I'm so pleased! Would you like to join us for dinner tomorrow?"

"I can throw a feast!" Pang Da shouted, exuberant at Ilah's sudden interest in a social life. "Or a small get-together! Whichever you prefer!"

"I'm honored, but not tomorrow," Masami said, smiling. "Kurou and I managed to get tickets to tomorrow's showing of _Love Amongst the Dragons. _We were going to go last night, but we couldn't. Someone had bought out the whole theatre, you see."

Pang Da burst out laughing, and Ilah smirked. "Oh dear, how rude!"

"Did you want some more coffee?" Masami asked, indicating Ilah's empty cup.

"Oh, yes please. Yours is the only coffee I'll ever drink, you know."

"Kohimori does make the best coffee in the Fire Nation," Masami nodded, reaching for the kettle.

"Well, I do hope you two have a pleasant chat," Azulon said, standing up to dismiss himself. "However, I'm going to go take care of some business."

"The Fire Lord's work is never done," Masami said.

"No matter how much you scold him for it," Pang Da muttered.

"Indeed. If either of you ladies require my presence, I'll be in my office."

"And if _I _require your presence, Cousin?"

"It'd best be for a _very _good reason, you loaf," Azulon smirked, but he glanced meaningfully at Ilah, and Pang Da nodded. Ilah was apparently in the mood for conversation and socialization, and Pang Da and Masami could be counted upon to keep _that _interest going for as long as possible.

He had to walk past Ilah's study to get to his office, and he paused at the doorway when he heard whisperings and distressed bird noises coming from within. Whispers never boded well in the Fire Palace, whispers in studies that may hold important state secrets even less so. But when he poked his head through the door frame, all Azulon found was Lo and Li, hovering over a letter one of them held between them. The other woman was still grasping the messenger hawk, who looked utterly done with everything.

Azulon rather felt like the messenger hawk.

"Do I even want to know?" he asked.

The women's heads lifted simultaneously to eye him. "No, Fire Lord," they said, and one of them continued, "we believe it'd be for the best if you didn't."

"Very good then," Azulon nodded, and he retreated back to his own office.

* * *

The rest of their vacation passed...very much like a vacation, actually. As much of a vacation as the Fire Lord and Lady could ever hope to achieve, at least.

Together, Pang Da and Masami managed to accomplish what Pang Da had been unable to on his own. Spirits bless that woman, and spirits bless the day so many years ago when she'd forced her way into his notice. Daimyo Masami of Kohimori Island had done Azulon's family many great services over the years - protecting the infant Iroh, assisting in apprehending the Shiroboshi rebels, and now getting Ilah to sit down and _relax. _

Masami's children were useful in that regard, as well - Ilah doted on them, even if the older one often seemed a little off and tended to stare at things no one else but his mother could see. They played with Iroh's old toys and climbed the courtyard trees and generally kept Ilah delighted and distracted instead of stewing over rejected candidates.

Which wasn't to say that Ilah wasn't still searching. Ember Island was a vacation destination for the upper class, and many of them were currently staying here at their beach houses. Ilah took tea and attended parties and even hosted one of her own - and with Pang Da's help she even managed to _enjoy it, _rather than just using it to mine her fellow nobles for eligible bachelorettes. But some of the outings Masami and Pang Da dragged her out for, Azulon noted, were more social than business.

The business, he also noted, seemed to be getting handled more and more by Lo and Li. He often found the women huddled over Ilah's writing desk, the study conspicuously absent of Ilah as they read and composed messages. Several times a messenger hawk flew into the house, only to bypass Ilah and Azulon and beeline for Lo and Li instead.

"Good," Ilah said the third time a hawk flew straight past her. "They're smart birds. If Cadet Jeong Jeong has nothing meaningful to report, then I don't want to hear it."

On their last full day at Ember Island, Azulon was able to cajole his wife down to the beach for an entire day of swimming, surfing, and playing in the sand. No reports, no messages, no hawks, no profiles. Just the two of them and a retinue of servants on standby and the calming ocean waves.

"This has been...nice," Ilah said quietly, leaning against him as they watched the sun set. They were seated on the hard-packed sand within the waterline, and the waves came up and lapped over their legs before receding back to the ocean.

"It has been," Azulon agreed. He held a hand out until a goblet of wine was pressed to it by one of the servants, and he took a sip as he watched the sky slowly infuse itself with brilliant pinks and purples.

"I'm glad you convinced me to come out here, Lonnie."

He chuckled. "I'm glad too."

Ilah sighed. "I just wish…" she trailed off, but they both knew what she was thinking.

"Perhaps your mothers have found something while you've been away," Azulon offered.

"Perhaps," she said dubiously.

The sun sank below the horizon, and Azulon and Ilah turned and made their way back up to the house as dusk sank in. Pang Da gave Azulon the biggest grin and two thumbs up as they passed through the parlor, and Azulon rolled his eyes and gave his cousin a grateful smile.

The next morning they boarded the little wooden ship at the house's dock, which would be pulled by a sea lion a few miles downshore to Ember Island's actual harbour, where they'd board the Royal Frigate that would take them back to the capital. Pang Da waved goodbye from the dock, shouting that they must come back again soon, and would they please try to take it easy when they got back to the Capitol. Azulon and Ilah smiled as their boat pulled away and waved back and made no promises.

They watched the shoreline crawl by as the sea lion swam onward, and they made a show of graciously waving to anyone they passed - noble families enjoying the beach, fishermen who paused pulling in the day's catch to respectfully bow, pearl divers scrambling over rocks for a better look, children who ran down the shore to wave back. The people of the Fire Nation were only too grateful to see their Fire Lord and Lady in the flesh, and Azulon could not help but smile at their loyalty.

What a fine nation he led. What a fine leader he was. He doubted the Earth King could claim such love, cooped up as he was behind his damn wall.

"Oh," Ilah said suddenly, leaning over the boat's railing for a better look at something on the shore. "Oh, Azulon, look!"

"At what?" he asked, seeing nothing remarkable.

_"Her," _Ilah said, flicking a finger toward some commoner girl walking down the beach, basket in hand as she picked up seashells.

"What about her?"

"She's so _tall." _

"Ilah, _no." _

"But Azulon, think! What if we chose a girl from the common people, wouldn't that endear us to them? Like Princess Buttercup - "

"This is not Love Amongst the Dragons!"

"But Azulon - "

_"No." _

* * *

**Thank you for reading! If you liked it, please let me know!**

**This one was fun - I really liked being able to explore pre-series Ember Island a bit. We are still, like, 48 year pre-series, and a lot can change in 48 years! Honestly that's one of my favorite bits about writing pre-series fic - showing the passage of time. Nothing's ever static. At first I think "okay it's Ember Island, I know what that place is like" but then it's like no, it's Ember Island 48 years ago. Does anyone have a sense of what was going on in their area 48 years ago? I live in the US, so the biggest changes over 48 years are generally land development - my hometown was just a bunch of farms and a small town 48 years ago, now it's suburban sprawl. But other things change too - families, neighbors, the political scene, the environment. It kinda makes me sad because I have emotional issues with impermanence, but it also fascinates me. It's so very human of us to change so much.**

**Also, I finally got Azulon and Ilah some quality time. Just the two of them, on the beach, together, alone, with like 50 servants and bodyguards hovering around in case they need something. So peaceful. Such quality couple time.**

**So, the OCs!**

**Pang Da is 100% an expy of Prince Ji from Nirvana in Fire - the emperor's middle-aged baby brother who builds his entire personality around being happy, carefree, leisurely, and being totally definitely completely uninterested in the throne and the short lifespan that comes with it. Pang Da's name was chosen because it sounds like panda, which is basically what he is - Panda Bro and Panda Bro Jr were Stingrae's and my codenames for him and his father while developing the character. Like his father before him, Pang Da refuses to touch the political scene with a 100-foot pole, prefers to do nothing and live a relaxing life, and makes sure that Azulon ****_knows that._**** Hm, that sounds kind of familiar...who else in this family has a pleasant facade of being a fat, lazy old man who enjoys the finer things in life and is definitely uninterested in the throne? ;) Pang Da is very, very old by the time Ozai takes the throne, but he lives just long enough to see what Iroh's doing, and he's glad. He always knew that boy was smart.**

**This is also the first time we get to see Masami! Grandmother to Ty Lee and my OCs from Dutiful, Min Lee and Kenta of Kohimori Island. We get a few more hints to her backstory here. Her sons, Shigeru and Masao, are Ty Lee's uncle and father respectively. Masami is one of the few lucky people who Azulon considers to be an actual friend. She was only 14 when the civil war broke out and, because the Fire Nation has a tradition of badass teenage girls, she proved her worth multiple times by throwing her lot in with Azulon's faction and saving baby Iroh from assassins multiple times. She made a lot of enemies, but she also gained herself the most powerful allies in the Fire Nation, which is good cuz she had some family history she needed wiped from the record...**

**"a dreamworld of art" is 100% a reference to that hilarious yet informational youtube video History of Japan, which you should watch if you haven't yet. The Ember Island Players truly were the greatest acting troupe in the Fire Nation while Pang Da was their patron. Unfortunately in his old age he may have stopped patronizing them quite so much, and then there was probably some new management and theatrical politics, and Azulon likely started siphoning money away from the arts in general in favor of funding the war, and their standards started slipping, and basically by the time Zuko was old enough to have formative memories they really did butcher Love Amongst the Dragons every year. Ursa watches their version because she has a masochistic sense of humor and enjoys MST3K'ing the heck out of it.**

**Love Amongst the Dragons is still, in my headcanon, the Fire Nation's take on The Princess Bride, with lesbians. I guess the dragons and the water spirit are in there somewhere too, cuz as much as I hate the comics in general and The Search in particular, I can be magnanimous and allow tidbits of them into my own interpretation. :P Maybe someday I'll hash out exactly what the plot is, but I doubt it.**

**Welp, just one more chapter to go! Will Ilah finally find Janya before she (and Azulon) go completely insane? I mean sanity is relative and the Fire Nation Royal Family has been mad with power for decades now but still. We'll find out next time!**


	4. Chapter 4

**HERE IT IS! THE MOMENT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR! Fourth and final chapter, folks! ARE YOU READY TO MEET ****IROH'S**** ILAH'S DREAM GIRL?**

**Man, I'm so pleased I've managed to finish this one. Thank you so much to everyone who's joined me on this magical ride, whether you're a long-time reader of my fics, or you saw this here on AO3 and started reading out of curiosity, or if you were one of those enthusiastic people who loved the idea whenever I mentioned it on the ATLA Rewatch Discord last year. I know the Fire Nation Royal Family wasn't very fleshed out beyond Zuko's immediate relatives, and we have like zero info on what the family was even like before Ozai's birth, so I'm really glad y'all appreciated my headcanons, my take on Azulon and Ilah's characters, and my OCs. It means a lot, guys. 3**

**I have no idea which one of my bazillion WIPs I'm gonna tackle next. -_- We'll just have to find out!**

**Special thanks to Stingrae, for once again being a fantastic partner in all things ficcing!**

**One warning for this chapter for Fire Nation war crimes. **

**And on with the show!**

* * *

The Royal Frigate had only just pulled past the Great Gates of Himself, and Azulon was sorely tempted to go tell the captain to turn the ship around and get them back to Ember Island.

"I do hope my mothers have been productive while I was away," Ilah said, pacing back and forth on the deck. "And if they haven't found anything, well, I have a few new ideas I'd like to run by them…"

"Ilah," Azulon begged, "please. We're not even _home _yet."

"Oh, like you're not going to throw yourself right back into micro-managing the war the moment you step foot onshore!" she scoffed. "That vacation was just what we needed, Azulon, but I'm feeling quite rejuvenated now! It's high time I got back to work. I'd like to have Iroh betrothed before the new year, you know."

Azulon turned back to the ship's railing and watched the massive dragon statues grow smaller and smaller behind them as the ship continued forward. There were two, one guarding each side of the bay's entry point, and the small rocky island in the center housed a massive watchtower. Quite a foreboding welcome to any ships pulling into the Capital. He was very fond of the flaming net trap lurking beneath the water as well - Bhanupriya's idea, designed and constructed after the outbreak of the Civil War to ward off any rebellious invasions of Caldera City. It'd been Pransu's idea to slap the dragons on it. Azulon would have been fine with three simple towers, but he couldn't deny that Pransu's version had style.

"I'm getting a good feeling about the colonies," Ilah was saying, nodding to herself as she paced back and forth.

"Oh, Agni," Azulon said, shooting a glance at Lo and Li. They answered with looks of grim acknowledgement. They'd _warned him, _dammit, but he hadn't wanted to _believe _it.

"I've already decided that Iroh's wife need not be of a noble house - I've interviewed plenty of generals' daughters, after all. Perhaps there's some hidden gem in the colonial governing families, just waiting to be discovered! Widening the search to the colonies is a sound strategy."

"Especially considering you've practically drained the homeland dry," Azulon grumbled.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, darling," he said. "Please tell me you won't marry our son some to some halfbreed."

Ilah actually _hesitated. _Oh, Agni have mercy. "It...could be a nice gesture of political goodwill…"

_"Ilah." _

"Well if the girl is otherwise perfect I can't promise I won't consider it! I'm getting desperate here, Azulon!"

Azulon groaned. "Ilah I swear, if our grandchildren have green eyes - " Sure, he'd told Masami he wouldn't mind gray, but there was a difference between ash eyes and _green. _

"It could be...exotic?" she offered.

_"Mmph." _

"Don't worry, full-blooded Fire Nation girls will be given first priority," she promised.

Azulon sighed. "So when can I expect all these colonials to invade the palace?"

"Oh, don't be ridiculous, Lonnie. They won't be invading the palace. I'll be visiting _them." _

_"What?" _

"It'll give me ample opportunity to judge their hosting skills. And it's been _far _too long since there's been a royal tour of the colonies!"

"Ilah I can't just drop everything and go gallivanting around the colonies!"

"I never said _you _have to come!"

Azulon blinked. "Oh," he said.

"Honestly, Lonnie," she huffed.

Azulon thought it over. After the last few months, the idea of sticking Ilah on a ship and sending her to the other side of the sea sounded _very _appealing. "Perhaps the colonies _are _a good idea," he allowed.

She beamed. "I knew you'd agree! Lo, Li, once we're settled back in the palace, I want you to look into making the arrangements for a colonial voyage. If my mothers agree that it's a good idea, I want to set sail within the week. And can we get this ship to go any faster? I'd like to be home in time for lunch if possible!"

The rest of the journey to the harbor passed uneventfully, though Ilah grew more and more restless the closer they came to shore. She was practically bouncing on her toes as the ship pulled in to dock. Azulon despaired of her pent-up energy.

"Ilah," he said, "relax."

"Can't," she said as the ship slid into its berth and pulled to a halt. She was looking over the railing at a battleship the next dock over - there were soldiers disembarking, being greeted by ecstatic families down on the docks. "I have so much to _do, _Azulon." She scanned the docks, now searching for the royal procession that ought to be here to greet them.

"Ilah, please. I've agreed to your colony idea. We've only just gotten back from vacation. Please do not burn yourself out so soon - "

"Who is _that?" _she asked suddenly, lunging over the railing and pointing. Azulon followed her finger to find a young woman had disembarked from the battleship, wearing a second lieutenant's uniform. She was about Iroh's age, walked with purpose, had her glossy black hair tied up in a practical topknot, and was much taller than any of the other women on the docks.

"A loyal soldier of the Fire Army, I'm sure," Azulon said tiredly. "She could be anyone, Ilah. Please. Let it go."

Ilah hesitated, still staring at the girl, but slowly she allowed her hand to drop. "You're right," she admitted, and for a moment she sounded as tired as Azulon felt. "I should focus on the colonies."

"ALL ASHORE!" someone bellowed. Azulon took Ilah by the arm and guided her toward the waiting gangplank.

Disaster struck as they disembarked. Azulon only had a split-second to take notice of the crew members clustered around a stack of cargo boxes before they all suddenly yelped and jumped back, and then he found himself dodging something small, glittering green and yellow and buzzing.

"Look out!" one of the sailors shouted, far too late to be of help.

Azulon batted his hands uselessly at the little hummingbird-wasp, but it was too fast to hit and too angry to go away.

From where she'd jumped several feet away, Ilah said, "Lonnie, hold _still - " _

The hummingbird-wasp took a dive at Azulon's hair - no, he realized, not his hair, at his shiny topknot ornament, why had he even bothered wearing one today? What a sight he must be making, he thought as he flailed about. Bested by a damn bird-bug. If only the blasted thing would _stop buzzing. _

"Fire Lord I'm so sorry," one of the sailors babbled, "we were just destroying the nest, we didn't know there was one left - "

"Stop making excuses and get this thing away from me!" Azulon bellowed, swiping at the little pest again, this time with fire.

"Lonnie hold still!" Ilah snapped at him. "If you hold still it'll grow bored and fly away - "

"My lady, we destroyed its _nest, _I'm afraid it's out for vengeance at this point - "

"Then why is it coming after _me _instead of _you?" _Azulon demanded, ducking away from another nosedive.

"They're attracted to shiny objects - "

"WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE THEMSELVES USEFUL AND JUST KILL THE DAMN THING?" Azulon demanded as the angry buzzing grew to a crescendo by his ear, but before he could counter the little pest, there was the sudden hiss of flying fire and parting air, the _thunk _of solid steel hitting flesh. He heard Ilah shriek _"Azulon!" _before the buzzing ended with a dull _thud. _

And then another, heavier _thud _as Azulon hit the ground. He'd been mid-flail when he'd heard the unmistakable sound of an incoming projectile, and his survival training had caused him to instinctually throw himself down. More or less. It was more of a fall, really, and he'd landed rather clumsily on his rear, but if anyone asked he was going to tell them it'd been _entirely on purpose. _

As Ilah rushed to his side, Azulon's eyes landed on the hummingbird-wasp's corpse, struck through with a practical throwing knife that must have been on fire. He stared at the smoking remains for a moment before following the knife's trajectory back to a teenager. It was the young second lieutenant Ilah had been mooning after not five minutes ago, Azulon realized, and she was smirking at her kill.

The smug look dropped the moment she realized who Azulon was, however, replaced by horror. "Fire Lord Azulon - !" she gasped, and she immediately dropped, knees hitting the ground hard as she bowed in the lowest apology possible. Lower than Azulon where he was sprawled on the floor, certainly. "My lord, please, forgive me - I did not realize - "

"Oh, you're forgiven!" Ilah said immediately, her concern for her husband evaporating in a flash when she saw he wasn't dead. Instead, she leapt to the girl's side and leaned over to beam at her. "Honestly, you just did a great service to your Fire Lord, if anything he should be _thanking you." _She shot a pointed look at Azulon.

"Ah, yes," Azulon said, getting to his feet with the assistance of several servants who helpfully materialized around him. "Yes, thank you for taking care of that nuisance, soldier."

On the ground, the girl didn't move, but Azulon saw her eyes flickering from Ilah over to him and back. "It is my honor to serve you, my lord."

"Yes, it is," Azulon sighed. "You may rise."

The girl righted herself, but remained on her knees. Ilah _tsked. _"Oh, no, no dear, do get up!" she said, practically pulling the girl's arm. "There's no need to stay down there! Stand up! Stand! Yes...yes…" By the time the bemused girl had been prodded to her feet, Ilah was looking _up _at her, eyes sparkling. _"Yes." _

"You're too gracious, Fire Lady Ilah," the girl said, politely ignoring the way Ilah's eyes gleamed.

Azulon sighed again.

"Ah, good, I see you've met," came another voice, and Azulon looked past the girl to see another teenager approaching from behind her. It was, he realized with a start, Cadet Jeong Jeong - taller than Azulon remembered him, and more self-assured when he looked Ilah in the eye. "Though I suppose the introductions could have gone better."

"The introductions have been _most _impressive, and she hasn't even been introduced yet!" Ilah said, delighted. "Cadet Jeong Jeong! I wasn't aware you were on leave!"

Jeong Jeong smiled and gave Ilah a polite bow. "Fire Lady Ilah, may I present the Lady Janya of a cadet branch of the House of Flying Daggers, a second lieutenant in the Fire Army and a straight shot with either knives or fire darts. Her aim is accurate enough to earn the respect of the Yu Yan Clan, I'm sure."

"It is!" Ilah beamed. "Lady Janya, is it? What an honor to meet you! That was a very impressive shot you made, my dear!"

"Thank you, Fire Lady Ilah," Janya said, apparently in a daze, and then she looked to Jeong Jeong. "Wait, you were going to introduce me to them?"

"I was keeping it a surprise," Jeong Jeong said.

"I had no idea, either!" Ilah said.

"I hope you can forgive the subterfuge," Jeong Jeong said, and he shared a look with, of all people, Lo and Li. "We didn't want to get your hopes up, Fire Lady."

Ilah laughed. "What a delightful surprise!"

"I don't think anyone was more surprised than me," Azulon grumbled, rubbing his rear.

Ilah ignored him. "Thank you so very much for introducing us, Cadet - oh!" she gasped, looking at his uniform. _"Ensign _Jeong Jeong! Congratulations on your promotion!"

"Oh, Jeong Jeong's brilliant with ships," Janya said.

"I'm trying," Jeong Jeong said dryly.

"You're succeeding," Ilah said brightly. "If all goes well, you may have _another _promotion in your future! Now then," she said to Janya, "I'd very much like to get to know you, my dear. Would you care to join Azulon and I for lunch?"

* * *

"Ilah! Sunspot! How was your vacation?"

"It was lovely, Father, very relaxing," Ilah said, returning Pransu's hug. The royal procession had finally made its way through the harbor crowds to pick them up.

"You'll be happy to know nothing imploded while you were gone," Bhanupriya told Azulon.

"There _was _a slight panic from the Ministry of Finance," Ajit added, "but that girl you appointed as their newest member looked into it and found someone had forgotten to carry a one. So everything's alright."

"I knew she'd be useful there," Azulon said with a satisfied nod.

"Yes, yes, we can all talk political whatnot later," Ilah said, pushing through her parents to get to the carriage. "Right now I am _famished, _and I'm bringing company back to the palace."

"Company?" Rashmi repeated, and she looked past Ilah to one of the other carriages, where Janya and Jeong Jeong were being seen to by Lo and Li. Her face fell. "Oh, Ilah, darling, you just got back, don't you want to - " She broke off when Azulon made a furtive slashing motion at his neck.

"Is that Cadet Jeong Jeong?" Bhanupriya muttered.

"I know it's short notice, Mother, but I have a good feeling about this one!" Ilah said from inside the carriage. "Also she saved Azulon from a hummingbird-wasp so the least we can do is treat her to lunch. Let's get moving! I'm going to have my hopes either completely dashed or wonderfully surpassed, and either way I'm hungry!"

Rashmi sighed, but bundled into the carriage with her daughter, Bhanupriya following after them. Azulon decided he was going to go ride with Ajit and Pransu, so he wouldn't have to listen to Ilah interrogate her mothers about the courtship scene. As he made his way to their carriage, he noted Janya and Jeong Jeong whispering furtively.

"...sorry," Jeong Jeong was saying. "I didn't think you'd meet them _this _fast, I thought you'd at least be able to stop home first. Hope this isn't too inconvenient."

"I would _never _call an invitation from the Fire Lady _inconvenient," _Janya answered. "But _why _were you planning on introducing me to them anyway?"

"You have three guesses and the first two don't count," Jeong Jeong said drolly.

A beat.

"That is _not _why I befriended you!" Janya hissed. "I decided I wanted to be your friend because you're a great guy, not because it'd get me closer to the prince!"

"See, that's _exactly _why I think you should get closer to the prince. Thus introducing you to his parents."

_"Oh my Agni." _

"Sorry to spring it on you."

"Wait. Wait… Oh spirits. Jeong Jeong this had _better _not have been the only reason _you _befriended _me!" _

"What - ? No! Of course not! We would've been friends anyway!"

"Really? Because if you were just scoping me out for the prince - "

"Janya have you ever seen me scope out _anybody?" _

"Well, that cute junior lieutenant - "

_"I mean girls! _I haven't exactly been going out of my way to befriend every girl in the fleet, Janya! You and I became friends, I realized you'd probably like my other friend, who happens to be the prince, and friends try to get their friends hitched to royalty."

Azulon followed his fathers-in-law into their carriage and looked from Ajit to Pransu. "Well," he allowed, "she doesn't seem to be fishing for power."

"And has a deep respect for the bonds of friendship," Ajit nodded.

"I'm just going to count it as a win if Ilah doesn't end up in tears an hour after her vacation," Pransu sighed.

* * *

Much to his chagrin, Azulon was unable to get out of this interview. He was, ostensibly, inviting Second Lieutenant Janya to lunch out of gratitude for her saving him, after all. He attempted no more than one excuse about having to go check with the ministers on the state of the government, only to fold under Ilah's stern look.

Ah, well, he was hungry anyway.

It was only him, Ilah, Janya, and Jeong Jeong around the lunch table. Ilah had banished her parents from the room, so as to keep Janya from becoming too overwhelmed. Jeong Jeong himself was allowed - well, forced, implicitly, by Ilah and Janya both - to stay for moral support, and he sat at the table with an air of resignation that was only lifted by the free food.

"What would you like to drink?" Ilah asked. "Tea? Coffee?"

"Oh, tea, please," Janya said immediately. Beside her, Jeong Jeong smiled smugly at his plate.

"Certainly!" Ilah said, snapping her fingers at Lo and Li for a tea tray. "Do you prefer tea to coffee, then? I understand coffee can be hard to come by in the Earth Kingdom."

"Oh, I like coffee well enough," Janya said, "but honestly, my first choice is always going to be a hot cup of dragon well."

_"Really," _Ilah said, and she gestured at the dainty little carved-wood boxes of tea on the table before her. "Well, you're our honored guest, so I'll leave it to you to choose which blend you'd like to drink."

Janya contemplated the selection for a moment before reaching for one. She removed the lid and used it to gently waft the scent of the leaves toward her face, sniffing appreciatively. "Is this pu'er?"

"Yes!" Ilah beamed. "You recognize it? I'm surprised - it's very hard to get here in the Fire Nation!"

"It's not so hard to get when you're stationed in the southwest Earth Kingdom," Janya said. "I've developed a taste for it. Brought a whole brick of the stuff back home with me."

"How lovely," Ilah said, taking the tea from Janya and sprinkling the leaves into the teapot. "How was it, being stationed in the Earth Kingdom?"

"Oh, it was exhilarating," Janya said. "Most of my time was spent stationed at the port, that's where I met Jeong Jeong. But I did get to spend some time at the front, and everything was just so _different _from the homeland. Far different than the Academy was, that's for sure."

"The Royal Fire Academy for Girls?" Ilah asked.

"Of course, all my family attend."

"Did you graduate recently, then?" Ilah fished.

"Yes, just last year," Janya said. "Once I got my diploma I immediately joined up with the next deployment. I've been in the Earth Kingdom ever since."

"Very good work ethic," Azulon hummed.

"A year ago!" Ilah gasped. "And how old are you, dear? When were you born?"

"Eleventh day of the first month, in the Year of the Dragon," Janya said.

_"Dragon-child," _Ilah said, eyes glittering. She slipped a hand behind Azulon's back, and he could feel her waving furtively at Lo and Li. One of them silently slipped out of the room. "Why, how funny! That means you're almost _exactly _the same age as my Iroh! Only eight months older than him! Have you heard of my Iroh, dear?"

"The crown prince?" Janya asked, lips twitching up in a small smile. She glanced over at Azulon, who gave her a longsuffering look, and her smile widened. "Why yes, actually, I have heard of him. Specifically I've heard he's been responsible for some amazing victories in the northwest. His strategy for taking Wuyan Fort sounds positively inspiring."

"Oh, it _was _inspiring," Azulon said, perking up a bit at the mention of battles, strategy, and his son's continued success. "I'm assured that my son is a very capable and charismatic leader. His troops' loyalty is well earned."

"As it should be," Janya nodded. "I was especially impressed when I heard how he took Sangmen Pass. His use of blasting jelly to disrupt the Earthbenders' bending is a brilliant idea. I wish I'd been able to see it in action."

"I take it you haven't had the chance to fight alongside him, then?" Ilah asked.

"Unfortunately, my lady, I've never even met him. Though Jeong Jeong's told me stories."

"All good ones, I hope," Ilah said, smiling sweetly at Jeong Jeong.

"Any story with Iroh in it is bound to be good," Jeong Jeong said diplomatically.

"He sounds like a positively delightful person," Janya added. "I wouldn't mind the chance to meet him. Maybe even swap some strategies, if I could be so bold."

"Oh, you could be," Ilah hummed. "We could possibly arrange that."

"What are _your _thoughts on strategy, might I ask?" Azulon asked, because if he was going to be forced into this lunch interview then they might as well spend some time talking about what _he _wanted to talk about. "How are things at the front?"

"Oh," said Janya, "well, it's very exciting there! I think it's Prince Iroh's doing. He's raising morale on all fronts, even the ones he's not fighting at! We've been pushing forward without much trouble at all."

"As you should," Azulon nodded. "Would you say you're a good soldier then, Lady Janya?"

Jeong Jeong gave Janya an encouraging eyebrow raise. She ducked her head. "I'd like to think I am, my lord. My captain seems to think I am."

"Janya's a budding tactical genius," Jeong Jeong said.

Azulon raised an eyebrow. "And why is that?"

Jeong Jeong gave a pointed look to Janya, who hesitated before she said, "We had a scuffle with some Earth Army troops, and wound up with far too many prisoners to handle in the long-term as a result. And the rest of the Earth Army was still incoming, and our own troops were stretched thin. So when my captain ordered all the prisoners executed for efficiency's sake, I proposed an idea."

"It was a very good idea," Jeong Jeong put in.

"Oh, I don't know, it just seemed like the best solution at the time," Janya hedged.

"Don't be modest, Janya, you were commended for your creative thinking by Colonel Banhi herself."

"I was only doing my duty!"

"What was your idea?" Azulon asked, intrigued.

Janya looked back at him. "We had a surplus of uniforms," she said. "A shipment got mixed up or something, I'm not sure exactly, but we had far more clothes than we had people, and my superiors had more important things to worry about, so the crates had been sitting around unopened and unreturned." Azulon stared at her, wondering what on earth that had to do with _anything, _when Janya continued, "So I said we ought to dress the prisoners up in the extra uniforms and stick them on the front lines. Let the Earth Army do our job for us."

Azulon kept staring at her.

Janya allowed herself a very small smile. "It worked brilliantly. The Earth Army cut through what they thought were the first of our troops easily. It took a few minutes before they realized just _who _they were killing, exactly. By the time they realized what was happening, they were too horrified to fight back when we launched our _real _attack."

There was a long moment of silence.

"That sounds brilliantly effective, dear," Ilah said at last, offering Janya a cup of puer. Azulon said nothing; he was still staring at Janya, filled with an emotion that he was starting to realize might actually be awe.

"Oh, it was," Janya said, sipping her drink. "And it was effective in the long term, as well. The next time we attacked the Earth Army, they didn't put up much of a fight at all - they were so nervous they might be killing their own people! We mowed them down easily."

Azulon and Ilah turned and stared at each other for a long minute. Jeong Jeong took the opportunity to have a smug sip of tea.

Lo and Li suddenly shuffled over to Ilah's side and whispered something in her ear. "What? Oh!" Ilah said, and she stood up. "Come on, Azulon."

"What?" Azulon asked, but Ilah was already yanking him out of his seat.

"Janya dear, would you excuse us for a minute? Pressing Fire Lord and Fire Lady business, we'll be back shortly, enjoy the tea please."

"Ah...alright?" Janya said.

Ilah dragged Azulon out of the room and into the hallway, where Ajit, Rashmi, Pransu, and Bhanupriya had all been clustered with their ears to the door.

"I like her," Bhanupriya said without preamble. "Please tell me we're keeping her."

"Of course we're keeping her!" Azulon said. "Even if she doesn't marry Iroh, I want that girl fast-tracked on the officer path! Did you _hear _that plan of hers?"

"I'm both impressed by her thinking and upset that _I _never thought of that!"

"I want that strategy enacted across the _entire army," _Azulon said.

"Oh, consider it _done," _Bhanupriya said, already scribbling out a letter.

"How's her horoscope?" Ilah asked, looking to Lo and Li.

"She was born in the month of the Spirit Ox, on the day of the Spirit Dog," one of them said.

"A perfect match for Iroh's Air Rooster and Fire Tiger," said the other.

"And the _hours, _girls, do the hours match?"

"We don't have that yet," Ajit said. "But three out of four isn't bad."

"We'll be able to do an in-depth comparison when we get her birth card," said Bhanupriya.

"Iroh was born in the Hour of the Pig," Ilah murmured. "If she's a rabbit or a sheep she's _perfect." _

"I've been looking into her genealogy," Rashmi said, holding a scroll out to Ilah. "She's only a cadet branch, certainly, but the House of Flying Daggers is _not _an ally to dismiss lightly. Her parents have impressive military careers as well."

"Plus, she's gorgeous," Pransu said. "Have you seen her hair?"

"Her silky, jet-black hair?" Ilah cooed.

"It'd look fantastic with a crown," Pransu said. "She looks amazing in armor, she'll look even better in silk. I don't even care how she dresses at this point, if she has no fashion sense I will _find her _servants with fashion sense."

"And she seems very nice," Ajit added. "Not too grating, not trying to impress, decently humble but also sure of herself, good sense of humor, a fine appreciation for tea…"

"And she's _so tall," _Ilah sighed dreamily.

"How on earth did we miss her?" Ajit asked.

"We didn't," Bhanupriya said, pulling out some old notes and a profile. "I knew she existed, but I also knew she was unavailable. I was going to take a second look at her when she returned from her deployment."

"She doesn't have a marriage contract already, does she?" Ajit asked, suddenly wary.

"If she does I will _burn it," _Ilah vowed.

"She doesn't," Rashmi promised. "Being from a cadet branch of her family, it wasn't a priority, and she appears to have wanted to focus more on her career. She's perfectly single."

Ilah looked around at her family desperately. "So we're all settled? We'll make the proposal?"

"Not until her parents get here," Ajit said.

"Oh, I've already summoned them," Rashmi said.

"Announcing Lord Hiro and Lady Kiran of the Noble House of Flying Daggers," came a call from down the hallway, and everyone turned to see several servants escorting a finely-dressed middle-aged couple whose expressions were best summed up as "bewildered but hiding it well." Lord Hiro had glossy black hair. Lady Kiran had golden eyes. Both of them were as tall as Pransu.

Ilah gave a little whimper. _"Genetics," _she managed.

"Please contain your joy," Azulon begged her. "We are the Lord and Lady of this nation and we cannot appear to be mad."

Ilah gave him a tight smile that was most likely holding back all her hopes and dreams. Azulon sighed.

"Fire Lord Azulon," Lord Hiro said, when he and Lady Kiran came to a stop, standing side by side. They greeted the royals with a deep bow. "Fire Lady Ilah. Royal In-Laws. It is an honor to be in your presence."

"Thank you for coming on such short notice," Rashmi said. "We had some rather pressing business we wished to discuss."

"Ah, yes," Lady Kiran said, eyes narrowing ever-so-slightly. "Forgive me for being so bold, but where is my daughter? She's been off fighting for months now, and when we went to the docks to welcome her home, we were told she was not there. You'll forgive a mother's panic, I hope."

"Oh, Janya is perfectly fine!" Ilah promised. "I left her with a lovely cup of puer. Your daughter has _wonderful _taste in tea. You should be very proud! Would you like to join us for lunch? We have _so much _to discuss."

Lady Kiran seemed a little mollified by this. Lord Hiro had the look of a man who was desperately searching his memories for how he or his may have angered the Royal Family and was trying to calculate the likelihood of the food being poisoned.

Janya stood up the second the dining room door opened to admit them. "Mother!" she said, coming around the table to greet her parents. "Father!"

"Filial piety," Ajit murmured appreciatively, watching Janya respectfully bow to her parents.

"Oh, Janya, you look wonderful," Lady Kiran said, holding her daughter at arm's length and drinking in the sight of her.

"I'm sorry I wasn't able to meet you at the docks. Fire Lady Ilah invited me to lunch and I knew better than to refuse."

"Well of course, we raised you that way," Lord Hiro said, staring suspiciously at the lunch table. "...Fire Lady Ilah, why did you invite my daughter to lunch?"

"Oh, she saved Azulon from a hummingbird-wasp."

_"Ilah," _Azulon groaned.

"Not like it's not gonna be all over the Capital's gossip network by this evening anyway," Rashmi shrugged, giving Azulon a consoling shoulder-pat.

"Ah," said Lord Hiro, finally losing his suspicion. Gratitude was understandable, apparently. "I'm glad to hear that my family could be of service to you, Fire Lord."

Azulon sighed. "She does have terrific aim," he said. "And I'm saying that as someone who married into the Yu Yan Clan."

Lady Kiran smiled. "The Yu Yan are skilled beyond measure, but no single clan has a monopoly on marksmanship," she said, giving a respectful nod to Ilah's family.

"Thank Agni, or the war wouldn't be going nearly so well," Azulon chuckled. Everyone else laughed with him.

"Lord Hiro, Lady Kiran," Ilah said, "would you be so kind as to join us for lunch? Your daughter has made _quite _the impression on me, and I have so many questions for the two of you."

To their credit, despite certainly knowing Ilah's reputation and that of her bridal interviews, Lord Hiro and Lady Kiran did not blanch. "It would be our honor, Fire Lady," Lady Kiran said.

The servants brought more chairs, and in the shuffle to get everyone situated around the table, Azulon found himself sitting beside Ensign Jeong Jeong, who'd been watching the proceedings with over the rim of his teacup.

"You know that feeling, when you realize how long the battle's been going in your favor, and you realize the enemy is thinking the same thing?" Azulon remarked.

Jeong Jeong swallowed his tea. "And you know it's almost over, and you can taste victory, but you just have to make it through the final charge?"

"Yes," Azulon nodded, pleased that the young man was aware of such things. He was going to be a brilliant commander one day. "This feels like that."

Jeong Jeong glanced sideways at Azulon and gave him an impish smile. "You just have to survive the final charge, my lord."

* * *

The final charge, of course, lasted longer than a single lunch.

Ilah wanted to propose a marriage contract immediately, Azulon could tell, but she restrained herself. There was a procedure to these things, after all. A procedure they hadn't put into practice yet, since none of the other girls had made it past the interview, but Janya passed with flying colors and now was the time to enact stage two. Ilah thanked her for her service, thanked her parents for their time, and sent them off with invitations to return to the palace in a few days to share a pot of tea.

When they were gone, she got to work.

The Royal Astronomer was sent off to the House of Flying Daggers to acquire Janya's birth card so that he could study it and compare it to Iroh's before giving an official statement of astrological compatibility.

It turned out that Janya was born during the Hour of the Sheep.

"She's perfectly compatible!" Ilah exclaimed, nearly jumping for joy when the Royal Astronomer returned with the birth card. She'd been lying in wait for him at the palace gate so she could demand to see it for herself immediately. "She'll be able to keep up with Iroh's ambitiousness _and _his softer side!"

"Ilah, you need to let the Royal Astronomer do his job," Azulon begged, pulling her away from the poor man. The Royal Astronomer was looking a little perturbed.

"Yes, yes, go do your job!" Ilah ordered, shooing the Royal Astronomer towards the palace, and then she picked up the nearest peacock-goose and spun around in sheer joy, feathers flailing everywhere. "Azulon this is wonderful!"

"Ilah be careful with that bird!"

Ilah tossed the bird up into the sky, and it flew a few feet up to perch on the palace wall, where it started screaming down at them. Azulon sighed. If he'd tried that he would've gotten his eyes pecked out, but Ilah had grown up around the damn birds and knew how to handle them.

"I have to go talk to the Fire Sages!" Ilah proclaimed, and she marched in the direction of the palace temple.

The Royal Astronomer carefully examined Iroh and Janya's birth charts, while the Fire Sages requested the blessing of the spirits. When both astronomer and sages came to Ilah with glowing reports, she smiled like an eel-shark and went to raid the treasury.

"They're a clan of professional knife throwers, dear, I don't think they'll be impressed by something so ornate," Bhanupriya said as Ilah considered an ornamental set of daggers.

"I suppose you're right," Ilah said, closing the box. "We shouldn't gift them things they're already likely to have in higher quality."

"JEWELRY!" Pransu proclaimed, scooping up a pearl necklace strung with gold and turquoise. "Everyone loves jewelry!"

"Just please don't give away half the treasury," Azulon begged as his wife and in-laws ran about the place like children in a candy store. "We need to fund the war somehow."

"That's what _taxes _are for, Azulon," Rashmi said, frowning at a gray stone statue of a dragon, carved in a style that might have come from the Sun Warriors. "How long has _this _been here?"

"At least a few hundred years," Ajit said, opening a nearby chest. He stared at the utterly useless wooden Air Nomad jewelry and trinkets inside before closing it. "Alright, I think this corner is for storing oddities."

"Has the Treasury Secretary shown up yet?" Pransu demanded from where he was adding a dragon hair ornament to his growing pile of jewelry. "I need to know where we store the silks."

Ilah was fiddling with the necklace her father had first picked up. "What if she doesn't like any of it?" she asked, nervously twisting a pearl.

"Then she's likely a sensible young lady with proper priorities," Azulon said.

Ilah looked at him. "What if she _does _like it?"

Azulon smiled. "Then she's a sensible young lady who knows how to display gratitude and respect to her Fire Lady."

Ilah giggled. "I do love win-win situations."

* * *

The first of the gifts was delivered to the House of Flying Daggers directly, transported in an ornate box and an entire retinue of servants carrying proclamations of friendship. When she came to tea with her parents the next day, Janya wore a golden necklace of pearls and turquoise that contrasted beautifully with her bright red dress. Ilah's eyes sparkled when she saw the gift had been accepted, and Janya gave her a coy smile. Up in Azulon's office, Pransu gave a fist-pump at the sight of the girl's good fashion sense.

The next week was another whirlwind of interviews and interrogations, well-disguised as lunches and tea ceremonies and poetry readings. Janya and her parents dutifully bore Ilah's scrutiny, as she carefully examined them from every possible angle to be certain they were a good match. They gained Ilah's approval with every meeting, but perhaps the greatest indicator of their character was the fact that the peacock-geese did not immediately hate them.

By the end of the week, Ilah lay on her back in their bed, staring up at the canopy. "Azulon," she said, "Azulon, I think I'm in love."

"I noticed."

"She's perfect, Azulon," Ilah said. "She's absolutely perfect."

"Indeed."

"She's well-mannered and well-bred and sharp as a knife, she's going to become _such _a good commander, she likes tea, she's a talented Firebender, and she's _so tall." _

"She is."

"I'm going to ask her to marry Iroh tomorrow."

"I know."

"I want her to be my daughter-in-law _so badly, _Azulon."

"Yes," he sighed, staring up into the darkness. "So do I."

The day Ilah was to pop the question, Azulon found himself watching her pace nervously around the garden. Ensign Jeong Jeong was there as well, for reasons neither of them understood - as best Azulon could tell, Ilah considered the boy some sort of cross between a good luck charm and a security blanket. Jeong Jeong sat beside Azulon on a bench, sipping the coffee he'd been bribed with as they watched the Fire Lady deal with her nerves.

"I hope this goes well," she said. "I haven't even gotten to introduce her to Iroh. You think Iroh will like her, don't you?"

"Iroh likes everybody," Jeong Jeong said.

"You know what I mean, Ensign!"

Jeong Jeong sighed. "I like her, and it's a proven fact that anyone I like, Iroh likes as well. Sometimes he ends up liking them more than I do."

"Hopefully that's the case here!" Ilah said, still pacing. "Oh, I hope this goes well. What if she says _no?" _

Azulon snorted. "You've spent Agni-knows-how-many months rejecting every girl in the Fire Nation, and now you're worried this one will say _no?" _

"It's a possibility, Azulon! Jeong Jeong, has Janya spoken to you? She hasn't said she's going to refuse a proposal, has she?"

Jeong Jeong sighed again. "I very highly doubt Janya is going to refuse a proposal."

"But has she _said anything?" _

"She's asked me a lot of questions about Iroh."

"Oh!" Ilah said, clapping her hands. "Well, that's good then!"

"Announcing Lord Hiro and Lady Kiran of the House of Flying Daggers," a servant called from the garden gate. "And their daughter, the Lady Janya."

Azulon and Jeong Jeong stood up from the bench, and Ilah whirled around to turn a bright smile towards their guests.

"I'm sure it'll all be fine, my lady," Jeong Jeong said. "And if Janya declines out of some sense of duty or of not being worthy of my best friend, I'll talk sense into her."

Azulon gave Jeong Jeong the most grateful look he could muster.

"Thank you, Ensign," Ilah said, watching the Flying Daggers approach. "If they say yes, I'm promoting you to admiral."

Jeong Jeong choked.

_"Ilah!" _Azulon snapped.

"Well we have to reward him _somehow, _Lonnie! Lord Hiro! Lady Kiran! Welcome!" she called, stepping forward.

"I'll get her down to something more reasonable," Azulon assured Jeong Jeong, partially because he felt that promoting people out of personal gratitude was edging too close to nepotism, and partially because the boy was far too young for the rest of the navy to take seriously. Though Ilah might be on to something. Azulon resolved to keep a close eye on the boy's naval career, and fast-track him through promotions if he showed enough promise.

"Thank you. I'll just...excuse myself for now," Jeong Jeong muttered.

"My in-laws are hiding in those bushes to spy on the proceedings," Azulon said, indicating a large stand of hibiscus growing in the corner of the garden.

"Then I'll just go hide over behind that rock," Jeong Jeong nodded, in the opposite direction.

Smart boy, Azulon thought, and he went to sit down with Ilah at the tea table.

When the time came to ask the question, it was like Ilah's nervousness had never been a thing. "Janya," she said, "you're a brilliant young lady, so I'm sure you're aware that I haven't been inviting you to the palace _just _to thank you for saving Azulon's life last week."

"I'm aware, yes," Janya smiled. "I've heard quite a bit about your search for the prince's bride. How is it going?"

"Oh, it's been going _very well _as of late," Ilah said.

"That's good to hear! From what I've heard you've interviewed nearly every girl in the Fire Nation."

"Oh, yes, just about," Ilah laughed. "But I'm truly sorry it took so long for me to meet _you!" _

"I'm honored we met at all, Fire Lady," Janya said, inclining her head. "Forgive my vanity, but I have to admit I'm curious - how do I compare to my peers?"

"Oh Janya," Ilah sighed, "you're peerless."

"Literally no one else ever got invited back for a second interview," Azulon said flatly.

Ilah gave him a put-out look. Apparently she'd wanted to say something a bit more flowery than that. Janya, however, blinked at him a few times, before her gaze slid towards her parents. Lord Hiro and Lady Kiran smiled serenely, their expressions clearly stating _no, we weren't exaggerating. _

"Janya," Ilah said, "out of every girl I've met over the last few months, you are the _only _one I can see at my Iroh's side, helping him lead this nation to greatness."

Janya flushed red. "My lady, you are far too kind."

"You're a clever girl of quick thought, a talented warrior blessed with fire, and as beautiful as a sunbeam cutting through the clouds," Ilah said. "It would give Azulon and I great joy if you would agree to marry our Iroh."

_Please say yes, _Azulon thought, because even though he saw no alternative, it would be _just like the universe _for her to say no and have him deal with Ilah's aftermath. He couldn't do much more of this insanity. _Please, please, Agni please, say yes. _

"Fire Lady Ilah," Janya said, "it would be my greatest honor."

Ilah's smile was bright as the sun. Lord Hiro and Lady Kiran exchanged proud looks, though part of them was still clearly flustered that out of _all the young ladies in the Fire Nation, _it was _their daughter _who was going to be the future Fire Lady. From the corner of the garden, Azulon could hear celebratory noises coming from the hibiscus bushes.

"Oh my Agni I'm so _happy," _Ilah said, bursting into happy tears.

Janya smiled kindly and pulled a handkerchief from her sleeve. "Here, my lady."

"Oh, darling, you _must _call me Mother!" Ilah said.

Azulon watched his wife's happiness, relieved that the madness was finally coming to an end. Ilah dabbed at her eyes while Janya laughed and held her hand in a reassuring grip. Somewhere mid-mirth, her eyes met Azulon's, and she smiled at him, bright as the sunrise.

Azulon allowed himself to smile back.

And then Janya's eyes slid past the Fire Lord, and she smirked at something over his shoulder.

Azulon turned to see Ensign Jeong Jeong was leaning against the large decorational boulder, smugly sipping coffee as he gave Janya a thumbs-up.

* * *

A black ribbon message was sent post-haste to General Kilohana in the northern Earth Kingdom. Prince Iroh was to return home immediately to meet his bride.

Ilah had to be talked down from introducing them the moment he stepped off the ship. Iroh spent the evening after his return relaxing with his family and listening to them wax poetic about his fiance.

"She's perfect," Ilah gushed, "you're going to love her."

"She's a strategic thinker," Bhanupriya said, "you're going to love her."

"She's very sweet," Ajit promised, "you're going to love her."

"She's sharp," Pransu said, "you're going to love her."

"She makes your mother very happy," Azulon sighed. "You're going to love her."

"I do hope she's pretty!" Iroh laughed.

"She's a vision of loveliness!" Rashmi proclaimed. "Trust me on this. You're going to _love _her."

The next afternoon found them all in the garden, waiting for Janya to arrive.

"He's going to love her," Ilah said, shoving a peacock-goose out of the way so she could peer through the hibiscus leaves. "I just _know _it!"

"Didn't I tell you so, darling?" Rashmi hummed. "Anyone who meets your approval, Iroh is bound to love as well."

"I can't wait," Ilah said, nearly bouncing on her toes. "I want to see them together!"

"Hush, Sunspot, or we'll ruin the moment," Pransu chided.

Iroh was supposedly alone in the garden save for a few milling peacock-geese, politely pretending he had no idea his parents and grandparents were hiding in the bushes. He was doing far better at it than Azulon would have managed. He was inspecting the assortment of cookies on the tea table, not looking the least bit nervous as he waited to meet his bride.

"Is it just me, or is he a little taller?" Ajit murmured.

"Just a little," Bhanupriya said. "Looks like he had one last growth spurt in him. I doubt he'll have another."

"He's filled out well, though," Ajit said. "I can't believe he's growing up."

"Quiet, all of you!" Pransu hissed. "She's coming!"

"...talk about tea all day, _trust me," _Ensign Jeong Jeong's voice floated in from the garden gate, and then he stepped through the archway, Janya beside him.

They all saw the moment Iroh laid eyes on her. One second he was grinning as he stepped forward to great his best friend - but he'd barely called out a happy "Jeong Jeong!" before he froze in place.

Time seemed to stand still, for one beautiful moment, and Azulon idly wished that Cousin Pang Da was here to appreciate it. His Iroh, his brilliant, successful young son who'd inherited his grandmother's eyes for every girl he ever met, struck speechless as he stared at his future wife. Janya had frozen up as well - battles against earthbenders were one thing, but this first meeting with her prince and hero was apparently quite another. She stood framed in the arch of the garden gate and stared at Iroh, starstruck, the picture of elegance, from her red skirt to her white robe to the pearl and turquoise necklace glittering at her neck. It would make quite a painting - a young prince and a soon-to-be princess, and the closest thing Azulon had ever seen to love at first sight.

"Oh," Ilah breathed, clutching Azulon's hand.

Jeong Jeong had continued into the garden, apparently oblivious, though that didn't last long. "Iroh?" he asked, and then he turned around to look back at Janya. He glanced back and forth between the two of them for a few seconds, and then he directed a pointed smirk towards the hibiscus bush. "Iroh!" he said, wrapping an arm around Iroh's shoulders and jostling him from his reverie. "May I present my dear friend and compatriot, the Lady Janya of the House of Flying Daggers?"

"Yes!" Iroh managed, and then he was striding forward to offer Janya a polite bow. "Lady Janya! I must say, you're even more beautiful than my grandmother described!"

"Oh, I'm taking that as a _very _high compliment," Janya blushed.

"She should," Rashmi whispered.

"Janya," Jeong Jeong continued, "this is Prince Iroh, my idiot friend I've been telling you about."

Iroh sputtered. "Jeong Jeong! Tell me you haven't been embarrassing me in front of the lady!"

"Jeong Jeong and I have very different opinions on what constitutes idiocy and what counts as brilliance," Janya said, and she bowed. "It is my honor to meet you, Prince Iroh."

"Brilliance, hm?" Iroh said. "Jeong Jeong, I think I like her better than you already!"

"I should hope so, because I am _not _marrying you. Did you want me to join you two for tea, or should I be going?"

"Oh, Jeong Jeong, you can stay if you like!" Janya said brightly. "You might be able to offer some insight. Prince Iroh, I have _so _many questions regarding your capture of Wuyan Fort, if you'd be so kind as to entertain them."

"Only if _you _would kindly explain to me this new strategy you came up with that my parents have been gushing about," Iroh smiled.

"I'm out," Jeong Jeong declared. "Have fun talking about all the crazy ways you two take out Earthbenders; you can come find me when you're ready to talk about ships." He left the garden. Iroh and Janya scarcely noticed.

"Well then!" Iroh said. "I think this is a discussion best had over tea, don't you?"

"All discussions are better with tea," Janya nodded.

Iroh laughed. "Lady Janya, I believe we're going to get along wonderfully."

As though they'd been waiting for that proclamation, the peacock-geese in the garden began screeching in what a poet might have described as triumph but what Azulon would call aggravating beyond all comprehension. Iroh and Janya, however, paid no heed to the raucous cacophony - they only had eyes and ears for each other. They sat together at the tea table, chattering while Iroh began brewing. After just a few minutes, Iroh and Janya were smiling and laughing over tea together like life-long friends. In the bushes, Azulon saw Ajit grin and lean into Pransu, heard Rashmi coo while Bhanupriya hummed in satisfaction. Ilah's hand tightened around his, and Azulon squeezed back.

She'd done it. Ilah had _done it. _She'd found their son the perfect bride. She'd found the Fire Nation the perfect future Fire Lady.

Azulon had always known his wife was amazing, that she could accomplish anything she set her mind to, but it was still wonderful when the universe reminded him of it. He turned a gentle smile towards Ilah, expecting to _finally _see her content. It was over. No more pawing through girls' profiles, no more interviews, no more desperation, and Ilah should be happy -

The manic gleam in Ilah's eyes had only intensified, and she turned to Azulon with a wide grin. "Now we need to plan the _wedding." _

* * *

**AND THERE YOU HAVE IT! Thank you so much to everyone for reading this story! Please leave a review if you enjoyed it, I love hearing from you!**

**Time for notes!**

**It's gonna be a few years until the wedding, thankfully, so Ilah has time to plan. NO ONE ASK ME TO WRITE A WEDDING-CENTRIC SEQUEL! ahaha I know I'm bringing it upon myself with that final line but seriously after dealing with how insane Ilah got just looking for a fiance I do not wanna know how she'd handle wedding plans. XD Also...the wedding planning actually wouldn't be much of a crackfic and would end up a lot more serious, cuz...well, Ilah gets pregnant with Ozai during that timeframe. And at that point her days are numbered. :(**

**But on to happier things! What do you guys think of Janya? Sixteen years old and already a war criminal! She's gonna fit right in with the Royal Family just fine. That strategy she came up with - dressing prisoners as your own soldiers and sticking them on the front lines? That's a canonical Fire Nation strategy - the bully soldiers mention it's a thing in Zuko Alone, when that poor Earth Kingdom farmer family's oldest son gets captured. It's brutal, even as an offscreen mention, and I thought "Azulon would have loved that idea." So I figured Janya came up with it, and it got her his immediate approval. It's...a pretty heavy piece of character development, I guess. It's awful, and she's awful for coming up with it, but she's also 16 years old and right smack in the middle of a century-long war. She's only doing what she was raised to do, but she was raised to be an awful person. At what point do you stop saying "she's young" and start saying "she's never going to change"? And yet...Zuko was 16 too. But unlike her nephew decades later, Janya isn't going to go seeking redemption anytime soon. Ironically in Fire Nation nobility, having a caring and supportive family makes you MORE LIKELY to be an awful person!**

**In all seriousness though I love her, and I wish she didn't live in a world where Fire Nation superiority and the war and callous disregard for life was a thing. Someday I'm gonna write a 'verse where Aang never froze up and the war ended early and all these characters are better people.**

**The House of Flying Daggers - I'M HILARIOUS and if you haven't seen that movie you should it's pretty - is my headcanon for Mai's family. She and Janya are actually distant cousins. This is solely because I love Mai's shiny shiny hair and wanted Janya to have equally luxurious locks. Then I decided that means Janya is also totally a knife-thrower. If you think it's too much of a coincidence that this generation of the FN Royal Fam has connections to both Ty Lee and Mai's families just as Azula will 48 years later, just remember that the upper class is a comparatively small population and everyone knows everyone already. Also I like the idea of Mai and Ty Lee being the latest iteration of their families' ties to the royals.**

**I have very little understanding of how Chinese astrology works. I did make sure that all the birth signs are compatible though.**

**Jeong Jeong is still Too Gay For This and is only here for the coffee. Also because he's a good friend. Also I love making jokes about Jeong Jeong and shipping. Because he's in the navy. geddit? geddit?**

**Oh, architecture note! The Great Gates of Azulon do not have the Azulon statue yet! It's just a plain tower in the center. The Azulon statue is Ozai's fault. :P**


End file.
